If I can, anybody can... This is something I have felt and said several times over. Sounds Modest??? Maybe yes, maybe not! Sounds assertive??? Certainly yes... If it doesn't, I intend it to be so. Plainly because I am not talking about any difficult things in life. I believe firmly that every individual by virtue of 16-18 years of training and education, should 'at least' learn to manage one ownself. Though I am not trained to preach on this subject but my repeated observations have confirmed my convictions.
Can anyone tell me why working women essentially need a father or husband to manage their savings, investments etc? I think it's a simpler job to save and invest than to earn. If they are educated enough to learn the latter, they might as well be taught the former. Most women, when it comes to taking key decisions in their lives like change in job, change in location, travelling somewhere will have to depend on a MAAAAN! Ah..if they can go out & buy clothes & shoes for themselves, they might as well decide the more important things. Not that I haven't met women who are independent in every sense of the word... but atleast, the Indian way of training women does not support this mental accomplishment that I am talking about.
Even the fact that women are not allowed to go out alone in unsafe places or at odd hours, travel alone etc... is rather discouraging. When a girl is sent out for studies or for work, it's implied that they are confronting everything outside home..people, places, objects! And they could be secure or insecure for them. So, I insist that they better be taught how to defend themselves in adverse situations and apply their minds to sustain their lives outside home rather than disabling them with a male escort all their lives.
Funnily enough, some women can't even buy their own 'critical' garments and accesories! [I hope you got it! I didn't want to use that term here. I am keen to convey the message than make it a piece of slapstick humour]. "Mummy-papa khareed layenge!" {"kyon behen? ;-) apni chheezein khareedne me kaun si sharam?!!"}
Coming over to the more physically powerful gender, I have noticed some men with ... habits. [I really don't have words to qualify this habit] Why on earth can they not wash their 'critical' garments themselves? To some of you, it might appear wry or sarcastic but I really mean it. Why should women, in any capacity, (mother or wife) bear the brunt of smelling and touching those apparels that have adorned the key parts of his mortal self? I simply refuse to accept any justification/argument for the same. :-( Some can't even or can, but would not iron their own clothes. Paid and getting it done is fine but otherwise, I feel it's so crude and offensive for the one who does it. Men expecting women to serve food on the table as soon as they come back from work, or needing a wife or a mother to find out their clothes when they are getting late for office, college... The root of all these problems are the same! Lack of training as an individual! I have even heard men accepting the fact that they can cook well but they want a wife in the house to take care of his food requirements! For them, I'd like to say it's available paid..It's unfair to get it done for free!
There are many more such examples but I would like the message to be stronger than the humour in the stories. And, I would sincerely beg to differ with those who misconstrue it as a feminism/chauvinism issue! It's certainly an individualism issue... That's why I gave examples of both genders to elucidate my point of view.
Also, some people might say that in few of these examples that I gave, love/affection/warmth/blah...blah does play a role. I wouldn't deny either..But seeking help/advice/pampering oneself for some time is one thing and taking things for granted on a daily basis is another! Clearly, I object the later!
I always feel that when you are taught how to live, you should be taught all aspects of it that is essential for you to live and that too, very clearly. Unfortunately, I have met some people who refute the issue saying that what's the harm if someone who's free or is willing can do it for them and doesn't forcibly get it done. For them, I'd say learn to value other's efforts and time as much as you do yours! Taking help/advice is one thing and never learning to do something for all your life, is like being handicapped!
Well now that you have had eough of my gyaan, post your comments :-) Remember not to get into anyone's personal space and talk about it as a subject in general.
2 comments:
So true! unfortunately, some Indian women will also share the fact that they take pride in doing all this for their husbands.
I almost felt I was listening to you talk in college! Of course, then I was somewhat awed by your capacity to think about such things! To think, you were this smart even 5 years back!!
Now, I can truly identify with your feelings. I guess, I have finally matured ;)
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