Flying Colors

India's festival of colors, Holi fascinates me like no other festival and adds a new color to my life every year. Tradition has passed two stories as the premise for the festival and like many other stories on religion and mythology, they have carefully transcended several generations.

One demonstrates the truth of victory, wherein Prahlad was the only virtuous and truthful soul in a family of sin doers and 'Holika' was his aunt. Typically on the Holi eve, a stack of throwaway items like waste paper, straw, wood pieces and other inflammable substances is done up as 'Holika' and is burnt. This symbolizes the end of the evil and the following day the triumph is celebrated with a vibrant splash of colors.

The second story is of the beautiful romance of Lord Krishna (one of the most popular Hindu Gods) and his lady Radha. The couple played Holi in their hometown Vrindavan (now in Uttar Pradesh) while dispersing love and joy in the air, for all the town dwellers to cherish.

Irrespective of which story the community follows, Holi is one of the most unifying festivals across India, next only to Diwali. Since the mode of celebration does not involve any detailed worship (though some families might follow a ritual or so), the interplay of colors laces into everyone's lives very easily irrespective of gender, caste, language et al.

Typically, there are 2 modes in which the overwhelmingly beautiful festival shapes up. People either apply dry colors, namely 'gulaal' (available in powder form) and greet each other by applying each other on the face, forehead etc. In some states, children put 'gulaal/abeer' on the feet of elders and seek blessings. Or, they could bathe each other in a fountain of colors which is conjured in a sporty mix of color pigments in large volumes of water. The latter in particular, absolutely consumes me.

Like it may sound, some people are not so comfortable with the idea of getting wet for the sake of Holi, but the energy that this bout of colour adds to an individual even after the first shower is only seen to be believed. Anyone and everyone who has once played Holi in good company will pine for the day to come next year.

To cure new age diseases, people resort to laughter therapy, hydro therapy, yoga, art of living and so many other ways of generating positive energy. I am sure, color has a role to play in keeping us buoyant in our day to day lives. A bright color quite naturally denotes joy, success, congratulations, celebrations... Dull colors too leave an impact, even though the story might be left untold. In this context, I strongly feel Holi alone has a very strong positive undercurrent. Even if one doesn't play himself/herself, he/she is bound to soak in the color bath that springs up like a fountain. Just watching a fully colored individual brings a smile to your face. It is entycing beyond means...

Though this year, I experienced some eco friendly colors, some made by Pidilite Industries, which were safe on the skin, most other colors are known to leave the color on the skin till a couple of days after the festival. Humour reigns supreme when you see someone with pink ears in an office, or with green nails writing an exam, or blushing with red color on cheeks without having fallen in love.

I personally have successfully brought to the color flow one individual who has never played before, every year that I played Holi. Though that comes with lot of initial resentment, but no such individual has ever regretted the decision. Moreover, all of those people have become regulars in playing Holi ever since.

This festival evokes strange emotions - the brilliant spectrum of colors not only makes me fly high but fly with the wind. It unites, excites and most importantly establishes an unique camaraderie in the group of people playing together.

All those who havn't tried it yet, please do not waste any more time - play next year without fear!

Why Women's Day?

When we celebrate a day, we know that it is once a year event and hence deserves its due on that particular day. There are just two genders in this world, we have multiple languages, myriad races and cultures yet we pick one of the genders to celebrate 'The Women's Day'.  Being a woman, it makes me happy and at the same time surprises me equally more. I am happy because it allows me to celebrate the achievements and roles of people who were born with some of the same intrinsic abilities as I was. And it surprises me because if women have really arrived in life then why do we still need to remind ourselves of their capabilities on just the Women's Day? Are we trying to salvage women from the impending troubles or just doing some kind of damage control?

I somehow can't gather myself to believe that we celebrate Women's Day. If all was well with women, then why do we need to do them this extra favour? And if they were so special, then why not make them feel so special all round the year? Why do we then not celebrate 'Men's' Day' and give them the once-in-a-year special treatment too!

Whenever there's a talk on rewarding women, we harp about their roles as mother, sister, wife, professional etc – Admittedly I have no reason to differ as I know it's tough. But in an analogous manner, men also have roles as father, son, brother, professional etc that they might demand recognition for.

The only plausible reason that I can justify the celebration of this Day is with the fact that I know society at large is still somewhere unfair to the physically weaker gender. I say society as I do not mean men only – on some occasions, women too dig their own grave and their peers'! So collectively we somewhere need to further the cause of progress of women on an annual basis and hence this day is deemed so important. The reasons are so deep entrenched in our economic and cultural fabric as a human civilization that they are beyond the scope of this blog. In poorer or developing economies, women are victimized more often than in developed ones – as much as history has evidence for but nevertheless, those countries too are not devoid of any women centric problems.

The moot question is – What is so fundamental about their existence that makes them prone to suffering of a kind that the world is empathetic about but unable to reach a solution for. According to me, even if a girl is trained at par with a boy and is made to imbibe all elements that a successful individual needs to possess – the vulnerability by design doesn't evade the woman. The insecurity of being physically hurt, the need for emotional recluse in a man in whatever capacity and most importantly the fear of losing social identity in absence of an association with a man often push women to stretch themselves until they break. Quite visibly, the faster a woman accepts this vulnerability and abandons it, the stronger she emerges in life else hell breaks loose on her.

We have been witness to many successful single women but all have a story of suffering behind them that catapulted their growth story.

Here, I am not referring to 'happiness' – for that is really relative. I am referring to that sense of peace about being a woman, which many women lack. That is primarily the reason why they need this booster dose of confidence and appreciation from all men they know on days like this.

It gives them a high, makes me feel good too but it spurs an urge to evaluate myself as a women for the rest of the year. Am I confident as a woman? Am I safe as a woman? Will I get the same victory if I do everything that a man does or will that be just a way to please myself? Will I be misconstrued if I behave in a way that a man does? Do I really have to fight for my respect all the time – on the road, within the family, in the office, at the marketplace…Or, can I just let myself be and feel happy and safe in this universe?

Many women I know have actually achieved emancipation, in close co-operation with the man she walked the road with. It can be anybody, a relative, a friend or a complete stranger. Kudos to such men who understand this need for women to not only stand on their own but feel on their own!

There's no law that can herald this change, there's no education that can cause this perfection, there's no society that can act as a balm for problems that women are quintessentially occupied with – A woman has to learn to envelope herself with all the necessary energy, shield herself from all physical and emotional onslaught, yet protect her tender core that the world so loves.

For all that may or may not change, we cannot deny that only a woman can give birth, can create life inside her and life is beautiful. So is every woman!

Wish all female readers a very happy women's day and all male readers a happy accompaniment!

Laugh out Loud (lol)

Though I am not very good with sms or chat language, the frequently used abbreviations - But ever since I learnt what lol stands for, I have made the maximum use of it wherever possible. The obvious is true - I love laughing out loud. To be honest, I just can't laugh at a tolerable volume.

The repercussions of a hearty laughter that makes my stomach muscles ache, my eyes tear, and my facial muscles twitch is far more than temporary. Every part of my existence resonates with positive energy. The memory of the laughter stays with me for years. Though it is sometimes rude or inconsiderate for people in my vicinity (I mean, the volume of a loud laughter), but eventually everyone gets wrapped into laughter - that at least is far better than mindless chatter, cribbing sessions, fruitless gossip among others.

We have all heard and learnt quotes like ‘Laughter is the best medicine’ but only a handful of people have really applied this art in their own lies.

Pardon me for my cynicism about the urban razzmatazz but I have always felt that pure play humour is somewhere missing from the otherwise prosperous lives of city dwellers. More often, a smile for a greeting is an indication of being well-mannered than being pleased to meet the person. Whenever we press the ‘smile’ button in our brain, the mouth increases aperture and the lips separate. We are so adept at it that sometimes we don’t realize how mechanically we are doing it.

I don’t know the ‘anatomical’ reasons behind laughter, rather never wanted to know as I fear that might make the process more mechanical. I leave this exercise purely to my right brain, when I feel like laughing. Nevertheless I know that it energizes me, it sends some electrifying signals all across my body, it makes me float above the present, it makes me come over the frivolous worries that my mind might be otherwise pre-occupied with. It helps me overcome any prejudices that I might have held against the person that I am in company of. Even if it tires me, I have a good night’s sleep. Even if it is mindless or trivial or wastage of time, it is worth it!

In my younger days, I loved to tickle people into laughter. Once I had to deploy the trick to the best player in the opponent team in a basket ball match. While she was annoyed at that moment in time, she remembers me only for the laughter we shared after the match.

On another occasion, I broke into peals of laughter while walking down the memory lane in a crowded street in Mumbai. An old gentleman actually stopped me and indicated that I must join the nearby ‘laughter therapy’ classes that were on at a park that he showed me. He couldn’t believe that I was laughing so loudly by myself. 

As one grows older, we are conditioned to behave appropriately. While that’s a social norm we must follow, I have begun to experience that it subtly takes away your natural instincts by suppressing them over a long period of time. So much so, that a smile gets notified as a ‘smirk’ and laughter is interpreted as being more derisive than enlivening.

95% of average jokes are popularly known as PJs (poor jokes) and a handful which still continues to entertain are complemented as ‘good ones’. Sometimes we forget that sense of humour like all other senses are subjective and are based on one’s background, culture, thought process, maturity, linguistic abilities and many other factors. So what appears amusing to me might be a note of sarcasm for someone else. That’s perfectly fine – We should not or need not cross the territory to find pleasure in what someone else does or, to laugh at someone/ something just because the situation demands it. We should not get intimidated by someone else’s reactions on humour.

What is important is to laugh heartily. Even if we reserve 80% of our jokes for diplomatic relationships and trained social behavior, we should allow our jugular vein to get pumped with oxygen at least few times in a week, else there’s likelihood that we will be mentally unfit, though socially it might not be deemed so.

The greatest comedians in the world have taken hours of efforts to make people laugh – Humour doesn’t come easy. So people who are blessed with the art of making people laugh should rather work on honing their skills – there are not too many such people in this world.

Humour is also a function of relationships. A joke that makes for an enjoyable recipe amongst two friends might not be worth the while amongst another pair of people. It is important to be sensitive to the fact that the humour should reduce our stress and not add to it. No laughter can be a good medicine if it upsets someone. I am sure there will be ways to find out what can be the most delightful embellishments for the moments in question. A laughter with a clear conscience is often the right indicator and usually not misleading.

Another school of thought suggests that laughter comes naturally only when you are yourself, only then will it consume you and generate the desired positive effects. In such a scenario, it is important that we cherish this moment only with select people who know us well. Otherwise we again run into the risk of either a contained/ restrictive/ planned laughter or rubbing off someone the wrong way, both of which completely defeat the purpose.

It is also important to learn to laugh at one own self. If shame holds us back, we could do that privately but unless we do that we would never learn to respect ourselves and others. It also ushers in a sense of peace with ourselves; it makes us accept blithely what we are and what we stand for.

At any given point in time, if we reflect back on yester years, we are reminded of the moments when laughter and mirth surrounded us despite moments of anxiety or ill-will. That forever boosts our energy levels and our desire to relive those moments gets triggered.

At a personal level, it helps spread love, peace and friendship. At a professional level, it helps build teams, enhance productivity and reduce stress levels.

“If every word I said could make you laugh, then I’d love to talk forever…”

Water Water everywhere...

I am born Aquarian and hence have a natural affinity for water. At any given point in time, water is my favourite drink – the only thing that quenches my thirst.

I can quite identify with the characteristics of water as if it were a personality – its ability to take the shape of the container it is hosted in, its ability to quench thirst, its ability to support life, its ability to keep you afloat and drown you at the same time, its ability to cover the vast expanse of this universe….

Though I can't swim, I had no fear of water per se… Probably I had not faced its magnanimity, voracity and outrageous self before 26 July 2005. That was the floods that nearly posted me to heaven and threw me back to life in a matter of few hours.  After that, anything to do with water would make me have 'butterflies-in-stomach'. Not so literally, but yes there is a feeble 'fear of death' that I can't do away with.

Last weekend, I had a radically different experience. I happened to be at Nagaon beach near Alibaug with a group of friends. It is nearly 130 kms away from Mumbai. We were totally enjoying the elements of uncertainty about what we intended to do there, where would we stay there etc. The beach beckoned us…

While I was totally ignorant of the presence of water sports at the beach, my friends expressed interest in one or more of those water-based adventures. I blissfully succumbed to peer pressure soon and assured my attendance for 2 of them.

I find it worth a blog as this was my first such experience in life. Quiet synonymous with my high energy levels at that point in time was the speed boat. There was an option of doing it singly or with another friend. I safely chose the 2^nd one. So my experience is that of the backbencher and not of the driver, nevertheless pretty thrilling. One almost feels like sitting on a scooter which doesn't have its clutch and accelerator co-ordinated, in the initial stretch. Gradually the spirited waves surround you. My friend, as instructed by the boatman sped up as if we had to go touch the horizon in a matter of nanoseconds. While I exclaimed, 'Oh man, this is crazy!' She screamed back 'Rhituparna, hang on!' Truly, a friend in need is a friend indeed. J

As we went bouncing up and down on the waves, trying to reach for the sky and take the waves along on our voyage of joy, the crescendos of the moment were rapturous. On this voyage, I realized that if you pat the waves, they pat you back gently, if you slap them hard, they can almost send a chill down the spine with its retort. Well, God taught the 'tit-for-tat' policy to everything/everyone he created. J

Our laughter echoed along with the roaring waves as the water embraced our ecstasy from all sides.

The 2^nd one in question was the banana ride. While I had heard about it a lot, I was just not able to picture this. The moot question was – who wants to go? While 2 of us were quite gung-ho, 3 had reasons like 'I have a bad throat', 'The water is dirty here'. 'I have done this before in Goa', 'I don't know swimming' – After jumping for a few minutes on the horns of dilemma, I decided to get body-washed than brainwashed and 3 of us took the plunge!

After the speed boat, this tube like banana boat with a group of 6-7 people feels quite comfortable and easy until they take you in the middle of the sea. Then lo and behold, while we are still counting moments before the impending thrill, we realize we are deep down in the middle of the sea without any swimming skills. That was quite close to death, if we didn't have the life jacket. J Even while I write about this, I feel choked for a few moments. 360 degrees upside down inside water and tossed over like a particle!

In a matter of a few seconds, we surfaced with our heads popping above the sea level and I find them laaaaauuughing and abusing – 'What the hell!', 'What the f***'! I swear I wouldn't have enjoyed the moment without them – an exceptional one when humour overtook fear head-on. Priceless, whatsoever! I failed to adopt any technique as guided by the boatman and was nearly gulped down by every passing wave. Every sense organ was saturated with saline water, an add-on on my already congested respiratory tract. The vocal chords could not even move to cause coughing! While my friends learnt the art of staying afloat rather quickly, I was still dependant on the mercy of the boatman. He almost gave me yeoman's service that moment! I already commanded him to put me back on the boat first. ;-) Even while doing that, the law of floatation wasn't allowing me to climb back onto the boat so easily – they had to grab me by my jacket and pull me up like a sack of grain!

The next few moments I actually enjoyed watching the other survivors, some cool and some tensed. Some climbing on to the boat victorious and others making failed attempts and floating away from the boat again!

The next deemed question was where would they drop us next! The boatman assured us that it will be closer to the shore this time. While we were racing towards the beach, I uttered 'Itne kam paani me gira ke kya maaza hai!' Oh man! I was in deep sea again, unable to identify myself or even recall my name! I sank and swam, sank and swam some 6 times until I lost memory and grabbed the boatman, my support system there! Forget swimming, I couldn't even manage to stay afloat in 5 feet 4 inches of water!! The trick was to keep the legs down but some buoyant force would continuously make them horizontal. I could see my friends floating towards me, with a beaming smile on their faces and the sun rays blessing them.

Very very gradually, my cerebrum decided to adjust to the fact that I could now move towards the shore with my feet perched on the sands below. Every millimeter of water level going down was a welcome respite. J

We were welcomed by our friends on the beach like heroes of the war! We too had a million words to experience the wonder of a few seconds.  One of them looked at me and said 'Her face has turned pink!' 'Her lips have turned white!' Some picture was clicked apparently which I am not yet in possession of. My feet were totally numb, head was heavy, senses were choked but the heart was flying in the air!

I express gratitude with my entire self to those 2 friends whose insistence to accompany them made me experience this thrill! It is till beyond my vocabulary...

Simplicity Triumphs

Someone said to me "It's one of the most difficult things to lead a simple life". Ever since I have tasted corporate waters in a large urban island, I have felt this very often. Being genuine and simple at heart are rather cliched terms here. My profession has taught me to play articulately with words, control emotions, say the right thing to the right person at the right time et al but it is like a trap - the more you try to excel at it, the more you complicate matters! For sometime now, I was rather disturbed by people and situations that never allowed me to be myself, that did not allow me to answer simple questions in a lucid, speculation-free manner.


In November 2009, I had a chance to visit this very small place with very large iron ore deposits, namely, Meghatuburu, in Jharkhand. 'Meghatuburu' in tribal language means forests as dense as clouds. Beneath the dark, dense forests lay huge, simply huge deposits of iron ore. I am told these iron ore mines are nearly a piece of heaven for global steel giants.

The 'irony' though is that there are virtually no roads to get there. Huge bumpy mud pathways, metallic road in patches and no infrastructure for decent living in kilometres of radius of the place. The only real inhabitants of the place are the families of mining engineers who work in the iron ore extraction plant there and the natives (mostly tribals and other rural folks) of the land.

I had a chance to put up in the SAIL guest house there by virtue of my father's employment with the organization. While our day long stay was characterized by 'fresh air and peace', what really impressed me was the simplicity of the people serving us and other local folk.

I don't know how many of us will be able to picture this - their innocence was untouched by any fear, ugliness, worry, negativity whatsoever. In a place which doesn't even have a school or hospital in less than 10 kms, people do not complain about anything. And in this mega city that I live in, people are ever complaining - about friends, colleagues, people on the road, salary, traffic jams etc etc...

People who do not have adequate lights in the evening do not feel sad in the darkness but in a city that never sleeps and is ever bedazzled by lights has many people who feel 'darkness' in their hearts everyday.

People who do not get access to pizza, pasta etc cook and eat such lovely dal, chawal, aloo fry, salad and dahi that you only can taste it to believe it. And here the options are so many that people are now looking for 'health' food ;-)

People who have never been to school are so deep in their thought and sincere in their feelings even towards a stranger. This doesn't closely match even the most generous of friendships in this city.

I am really not exaggerating - I warmed up to it in just a day. Mosquitoes were hounding us but I didn't feel the pain, atleast for that day.

People learn 'art of living' and all sorts of other things to restore the peace and joy that's somewhere lost. On a more optimistic note, the stress levels of urban working people in India is lesser than that in some of the developed countries, I hear. I wonder what becomes of them in times of distress.

More we learn to accept people and things at face value, the more we learn to live in the moment, the more we learn to trust and love, the happier we would be..:-) No one's ever got peace by maintaining diplomatic relations. Not even two countries!

What are we made up of?

The age old saying goes 'Wealth is lost, nothing is lost. Health is lost, something is lost. Character is lost, everything is lost.'

While most people in this universe agree with this saying, the way they see it is different for most people. The world stage offers such a fast changing panorama of diverse cultures, times and beliefs that 'character' can truly not have a universal definition.

To me, character is a building block of our very existence – something that embodies our body and mind, something that is unique to every individual, something that defines our complete well-being, something that 'characterizes' us.

Again, going by the definition of health in the NCERT text book in school– 'Health is a state of complete physical and mental well-being', I feel Character also includes health in its realm.

So, just a simple sentence 'I am not feeling well' also reflects character – how much pain you can take, what makes you feel uneasy, how you behave when you are not so comfortable from within and when and where would you express this uneasiness. It tells the 'strength' of your character.

Under this premise, the measurement or realization of character is also quite subjective and based on qualitative parameters rather than quantitative parameters. You cannot rate someone on honesty, integrity, purity etc based on your scale. There's no standard metric. Your '5' can be someone else's '1'.

In view of my experiences and to the best of my knowledge and belief, the only unanimous definition of character could plausibly be – the measure of truth that you hold inside, the measure of truth that you offer and owe to yourself and to others. This measure alone invokes a faith which can be termed as character. In whatever capacity or capability, in whichever times or context, with whosoever, in howsoever manner if an individual can deliver truth, he is of 'good' character else of 'bad or low' character.

The measure of this 'truth' that I call 'the character' is easier explained than achieved. More often than not, we do not realize that somewhere deep within we are lying to ourselves. The reasons that govern this 'untruth' are beyond the scope of this discussion though. The higher the degree of 'untruth', the higher the restlessness to pose as someone else rather than ourselves, the higher the degree of uneasiness or discomfort with ourselves, with others and with the environment  overall, the higher the degree of doubt and fear. And that gradually diminishes the strength of your character – it takes character to live a good life, it takes character to love or make a friend, it takes character to be honest, it takes character to be brave amidst adversities, it takes character to earn money, it takes character to be knowledgeable, it takes character to be respectful of oneself and others, it takes character to live with a mind without fear and head held high.

And all this cannot be misconstrued by just the physical manifestation of someone's existence or a momentary behavior or reactions towards specific people or behavior in specific situations.

Character building starts the moment we are born – they say all babies too behave differently. But most of it is acquired as we grow up – I am not too sure where but somewhere both in our body and mind. It is like a perennial tree that takes years to grow but is green across seasons and once old enough entrenches its roots deep within.  Character building probably ends when we breathe our last. I chanced upon someone who refused to take any help even when he approached his death bed – he felt it was unfair to the others physically and emotionally. Even the last few words one utters before death is driven by character.

Being physically healthy or rather slim is 'cool' these days. Whether they believe in it or not, they join a gym or attend yoga classes or go for a walk. While it is very important, it is equally important to train our minds day-on-day. Most of us do not unfortunately have a regular exercise regime for the mind. Actually, I would call it 'building the character'. If you are of strong character, your will power (strength of mind) and your depth of emotions would keep you afloat even when your body is not supporting you. The body is housed in the character (like I stated earlier), so it gets taken care of.

Unfortunately, there are no lessons or coaching classes available on character building – it is eventual and can come only with a rigorous application of the body and the mind voluntarily – reading, writing, meeting people are good instruments for me as it exposes me to the elements of a good/strong character in the world elsewhere and makes me aspire to build it in. I am sure there is a multitude of options available; given what elements of character you already have or do not have. Like I said, 'the measure of the truth we owe and offer to ourselves and others' is the only definition of character. The more is that sense of truth, the stronger is your character. It is just important that we build it and work continuously towards it so that it is strong enough to protect our body and mind (since it embodies both) until we die.

When you are of good character, you will never doubt anyone else's. You will be secure about yourself, you will be confident about your capabilities, you would be clear at heart and will be a host to positive emotions, in all, you will be happier.

It is tiresome, but it is worth it!