Laugh out Loud (lol)

Though I am not very good with sms or chat language, the frequently used abbreviations - But ever since I learnt what lol stands for, I have made the maximum use of it wherever possible. The obvious is true - I love laughing out loud. To be honest, I just can't laugh at a tolerable volume.

The repercussions of a hearty laughter that makes my stomach muscles ache, my eyes tear, and my facial muscles twitch is far more than temporary. Every part of my existence resonates with positive energy. The memory of the laughter stays with me for years. Though it is sometimes rude or inconsiderate for people in my vicinity (I mean, the volume of a loud laughter), but eventually everyone gets wrapped into laughter - that at least is far better than mindless chatter, cribbing sessions, fruitless gossip among others.

We have all heard and learnt quotes like ‘Laughter is the best medicine’ but only a handful of people have really applied this art in their own lies.

Pardon me for my cynicism about the urban razzmatazz but I have always felt that pure play humour is somewhere missing from the otherwise prosperous lives of city dwellers. More often, a smile for a greeting is an indication of being well-mannered than being pleased to meet the person. Whenever we press the ‘smile’ button in our brain, the mouth increases aperture and the lips separate. We are so adept at it that sometimes we don’t realize how mechanically we are doing it.

I don’t know the ‘anatomical’ reasons behind laughter, rather never wanted to know as I fear that might make the process more mechanical. I leave this exercise purely to my right brain, when I feel like laughing. Nevertheless I know that it energizes me, it sends some electrifying signals all across my body, it makes me float above the present, it makes me come over the frivolous worries that my mind might be otherwise pre-occupied with. It helps me overcome any prejudices that I might have held against the person that I am in company of. Even if it tires me, I have a good night’s sleep. Even if it is mindless or trivial or wastage of time, it is worth it!

In my younger days, I loved to tickle people into laughter. Once I had to deploy the trick to the best player in the opponent team in a basket ball match. While she was annoyed at that moment in time, she remembers me only for the laughter we shared after the match.

On another occasion, I broke into peals of laughter while walking down the memory lane in a crowded street in Mumbai. An old gentleman actually stopped me and indicated that I must join the nearby ‘laughter therapy’ classes that were on at a park that he showed me. He couldn’t believe that I was laughing so loudly by myself. 

As one grows older, we are conditioned to behave appropriately. While that’s a social norm we must follow, I have begun to experience that it subtly takes away your natural instincts by suppressing them over a long period of time. So much so, that a smile gets notified as a ‘smirk’ and laughter is interpreted as being more derisive than enlivening.

95% of average jokes are popularly known as PJs (poor jokes) and a handful which still continues to entertain are complemented as ‘good ones’. Sometimes we forget that sense of humour like all other senses are subjective and are based on one’s background, culture, thought process, maturity, linguistic abilities and many other factors. So what appears amusing to me might be a note of sarcasm for someone else. That’s perfectly fine – We should not or need not cross the territory to find pleasure in what someone else does or, to laugh at someone/ something just because the situation demands it. We should not get intimidated by someone else’s reactions on humour.

What is important is to laugh heartily. Even if we reserve 80% of our jokes for diplomatic relationships and trained social behavior, we should allow our jugular vein to get pumped with oxygen at least few times in a week, else there’s likelihood that we will be mentally unfit, though socially it might not be deemed so.

The greatest comedians in the world have taken hours of efforts to make people laugh – Humour doesn’t come easy. So people who are blessed with the art of making people laugh should rather work on honing their skills – there are not too many such people in this world.

Humour is also a function of relationships. A joke that makes for an enjoyable recipe amongst two friends might not be worth the while amongst another pair of people. It is important to be sensitive to the fact that the humour should reduce our stress and not add to it. No laughter can be a good medicine if it upsets someone. I am sure there will be ways to find out what can be the most delightful embellishments for the moments in question. A laughter with a clear conscience is often the right indicator and usually not misleading.

Another school of thought suggests that laughter comes naturally only when you are yourself, only then will it consume you and generate the desired positive effects. In such a scenario, it is important that we cherish this moment only with select people who know us well. Otherwise we again run into the risk of either a contained/ restrictive/ planned laughter or rubbing off someone the wrong way, both of which completely defeat the purpose.

It is also important to learn to laugh at one own self. If shame holds us back, we could do that privately but unless we do that we would never learn to respect ourselves and others. It also ushers in a sense of peace with ourselves; it makes us accept blithely what we are and what we stand for.

At any given point in time, if we reflect back on yester years, we are reminded of the moments when laughter and mirth surrounded us despite moments of anxiety or ill-will. That forever boosts our energy levels and our desire to relive those moments gets triggered.

At a personal level, it helps spread love, peace and friendship. At a professional level, it helps build teams, enhance productivity and reduce stress levels.

“If every word I said could make you laugh, then I’d love to talk forever…”

The Weather and Me!

Something that has invariably affected my state of mind and overall well-being is the weather and the climate, at large. For me, good and bad days come with a complete mental picture of the weather on the respective days. My levels of hunger, sleep, mood, lethargy are effectively regulated by the weather. So much so, that even if I am sitting in an air conditioned office the whole day, I, symptomatically behave/misbehave in direct proportions to the weather outside.

So, in effect, if I am irritable and have a 'not-feeling-nice' aura about myself, then it must be a hot and sultry day. I just cannot take humidity! Maybe because I was born on a chilling cold, winter night, my soul finds solace in winter. The summers are typically of two kinds in India. One is the very hot and dry one, and the other is moderately hot but a very sultry, sticky one! They can be equated to Delhi & Kolkata respectively. I can take the former much better than the latter. Humid places facilitate my clothes getting plastered to my body even after a bath! The worst days of my life are analogous to such a weather. In dry heat, if the scorching sun can be avoided, atleast inside my room, jaljeera and a water cooler brings respite!

Coming from Bokaro, which was more of the dry type, it was a pleasure to gulp down chaas/lime juice after cycling down on a hot summer afternoon, from school. Water is virtuos for me. & Any soul who offers cold water may live long and all his wishes be fulfilled. Also, a summer afternoon, wherein, the room has been cosily protected from the solitary rays, and I might have had a heavy carbohydrate lunch, a deep sleep is inevitable. There are hillarious stories in my life centred around these sleepy afternoons. When the sun descended after such an afternoon, and my mother would go out to water the plants in our garden, the aroma of what is typically known as "mitti ki khusboo" used to be mesmerising!! I really miss that in Mumbai :-( Metropolitan cities have no flavour of their own. They are all alike, according to me.

I pine to be at the bank of the river Ganga, as I did in Hooghly, during summer vacations. My grandparents stay there. The river breeze really takes away all maladies! It communicates volumes between people who are just silently sitting at the bank of Ganga.

Then, comes pouring down the blessings of the rain God! Indian economy, being agri-based, it's a blessing for the farmers, but for city dwellers it's hell multiplied by 5 times! In one such Monsoon, I was on a job hunt in Mumbai and in another, I marginally survived the floods. But Bokaro, which is located on the Chhotanagpur plateau, has differences in altitude in every road. So, the rain water flows down like a stream and it was fun peddling down through it and splashing off the water on some snob's car! ;-)

A good monsoon evening comes with coffee and pakoda and an afternoon comes with khichdi with butter/ghee in it. And, the fan of the 'goddess-of-sleep' that I am, the entire day from sunrise to midnight enforces that drowsiness in me and re-instills all faith in procrastination! Only that the dawn and mid-day look like, which misleads the signals sent to my nervous system - "It's time to wake up and go to work"/ "It's time to have lunch".

The autumns are usually nice - just like in Tagore's poetry! The Durga Pooja adds to the pleasure of the weather! Those who can smell the weather, recognise the change in colour of flowers & leaves, and can identify this season better. And since I am 'Rhituparna' (a leaf in every season), I can see it :-) (Except for in this ridiculous city - Mumbai! The phenomenon called 'The October heat' is disgusting! It's hotter than summer here in that month!)

Though I have never stayed in ice-cold places and am yet to feel the snow, but winters are indeed lovable! The flowers that bloom, the vegetables that grow in this season, the warmth of sunshine, the cosy clothes,all radiate positive energy unlike the constant stickiness in summers. In reminiscence, I cherish the memory of simple acts during schooldays - exhaling smoky air, cycling through heavy mist not knowing what's ahead, and warming the refill of the ball point pen in between palms to make it write! All good food, in my knowledge & taste, come only in this season. Since I am not very garment savvy, I like the fully clad look in cold, crisp winters. I have more fashionable sweaters/jackets than T-shirts :-) Unfortunately, winter is non-existent in Mumbai. In my first December here, I waited each day to feel the winter and slept in disappointment every night. The city, so renowned for its deadly monsoons has hardly felt winters. Incidentally, I got married in winter as well so it was added pleasure :-)
Falling into spring, I am reminded of practical exams, study leave for an exam that I will anyway not fare well in, or the disastrous onsalught (exam) itself. However, after a long spell of laziness in waking in the mornings, it starts feeling better. In school, post exams, I could smell the leaves of new books & notebooks along with the season, though, the content of those books never interested me ;-) In college, culmination of university exams meant a month of vacation at home. Also, 'Basant panchami' (Basant means spring), that coincides with Saraswati Puja, is a beautiful day. Bhog, orange/yellow/saffron colored clothes, books kept away for worship, fills happiness inside out of nothingness - one bright day out of the study room in that sad study leave period!
In the present corporate life, however, all these pleasures are more memories than experiences. I still pine to feel each of them till all my 5 senses are working! In the air conditioned offices, life has got too conditioned not to feel these zero penny but inexplicable wonders.

Public Relations

As the name suggests, it is about "maintaining relationships with the publics" because "yeh public hai, sab jaanti hai!" and No one can really afford to let the public let their tongue loose. ;-)
I am a new entrant in this profession. I have been studying this subject since last 1 year and am about to complete the course. As I assume roles in a formal capacity in a PR agency, I thought I'll pen down few things that are on top of my mind.
Since the PR industry is still very nascent in India, there are lots of rumours, speculations, assessments, failures associated with it. It has often been defamed too and the most talked about thing in this business is the love-hate relationship that they have with journalists. I am, at this stage, not equipped enough to pass a judgement on the existing state of affairs. Nevertheless, I am confident enough to put down the way I feel PR should shape up as.

The story starts from one of the most debated questions - "Whether Media really shapes or represents public opinion? Whether it is always ethical and supports truth? Whether it is a benefactor of everyone who reads it?"
If these questions have a discrete and objective answer, only then many myths about the PR world can be dispelled.

The talking point is that PR involves mobilizing public opinion for a certain agenda, to create a buzz around objects/events/ brands/ organisations as advised by the client, sometimes to just tell 'My story' (the client's) and be heard in this overcrowded marketplace'. Media is merely a tool, but undoubtedly a very strong one and in many cases, the only one! How many of us can think of a morning without newspapers? Or an evening without television?
Exactly so, a certain person/organisation would like to reach you and tell their story through these media. To whom exactly do they want to say? How they would say it to you? What they would say? When they would say? Where they would say? - To address these questions, they have a corporate communications department who works in close co-ordination with a PR firm which specialises in this.
So, for all communication that goes wrong, the PR firm is normally held responsible as they are being paid only to do this right. The PR firms ought to maintain good relations with the media, with the client, with all stakeholders of the client (customers, employees, shareholders and others), and with peers in the industry. They must do this and the faster they get good at this, the easier their job becomes.
But what people fail to understand is, there is more to the job! They need to understand the client's business - in & out of it, know the client's personality, know exactly what's up on his mind all the time, know the industry that he operates in, know the place he's based out of, know the competitors as best as is achievable, know everyone else that matter to the client's life. Quite clearly, this is not easy to achieve and the lack of information and channelization of the same is where they stumble sometimes and are heavily criticised. And, the most important attribute of a human being - common sense! is a must-have skill for any PR professional.

Incomplete knowledge then prods the PR guys to in turn, pester the journalists with some prospective piece of news about their clients, which is often not of interest to them or something which is not newsworthy.
The disappointment in PR people furthur leads to disillusionment and they are prompted to cook up cock-and-bull stories, please the journalist in 'not-so-desired' ways, in order to sustain their businesses. They are hence defamed 'spin-doctors', and often bear the brunt of the client's or the journalist's bad moods.

In an ideal scenario, PR firms should be an important and authentic source of information/data/news for the journalists but I guess, we are yet to walk a few more miles before we get close to that utopian situation.

Everyone who comes to know my background, asks me in surprise as to why did I move from IT (a prosperous and a matured industry now in India) to PR (a nascent and less paying industry)! Obvious question, maybe!

Other than communications being my area of interest, I also felt the PR is the thing-to-be in the next decade! The number of players in every industry are increasing manifold, that is what they call as 'me-too' market. Advertising is extremely expensive and not everyone can afford being in the most seen places to make themselves visible. Secondly, not every advertisement leaves an impact on us, in fact very few do. Thirdly, there's an underlying assumption that since the company is talking about itself, they would hide their weaknesses/loopholes. Not that Advertisers would lose out completely, they too have come a long way in making or breaking opinion. Only that PR too is evolving and at a fast pace. But since invisible PR is best PR, the growth is also more felt than seen.

To put it more subtly, PR is basically third party endorsement of what someone is. When the media is found talking about something, in all our conscious minds, we believe it to be true and then coax the media if it is untrue, we never bother to verify the information. So, the PR guys ensure the visibility of truths about their clients in the media by letting them know it in various ways such as a press release, press conference etc.
Basically, PR makes or breaks opinion. A news appearing repeatedly for sometime in any of the media, gradually creeps into our subconscious minds and we tend to remember it. That's exactly what PR aims at achieving without throwing it at your face every now & then, and loading you with information when you don't want it.
We are 'ICONOCLASTS'. We are in the business of 'IMAGE/PERCEPTION MANAGEMENT'. We don't cause devastation, we only work towards the prosparity of all and sundry. The consumer (i.e. you and I) have now become intelligent enough not to fall for explicit marketing gimmicks. But what we still fall for what we believe. 'What we believe' is what PR intends to gradually influence.
I feel, PR enhances the whiter shades of life, it initiates a movement from 'Grey to White' or 'Black to White'. It should ideally present facts in a manner that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages at least to the people to whom the information matters. It is not about hiding truths or spinning stories. It is about telling a tale beautifully in light of facts and analyzes that exist. After all, there's nothing in this world which is impeccably flawless or is the ultimate truth. All depends on how we have fed our systems. So, there's no harm in accepting or at least listening to, if someone has a contrary opinion. PR never forces to change opinion, it only influences to... Accepting/rejecting the opinion is entirely the reader's/viewer's choice.

The larger role for PR professionals would be Communication consulting, an integral player in the spectrum of Mass Communications. We should and would consult people as to how to talk, write, express, emote for communicating what they want to. No one wants to be misunderstood or misconstrued! None of us what to mean things thatwe don't really mean. All of us wish what if we knew what's their on the other person's mind and act accordingly so that our slate is always clean. Doing this is what we specialise in! We are no Gods, we only work on the background facts (history/geography of a case) well enough to justify a truth that we want to say on our client's behalf. Just like lawyers play with logic and laws to determine the fate of wrong do-ers, we present to you truths in the colour that the person presented wants to be in. And believe me, this presentation is backed by a lot of knowledge and creativity. It takes both the left and the right brain to arrive at something which is favorable to somebody and not rude or offensive to anybody else. You might see a different picture of the person. No harm! We just say politely, "Think twice please!"

One of the most beautiful things in this world...

What do you think could it be? Love?..that's a cliched answer! But I am not talking about it. This is one thing that everyone needs, everyone hopefully has, in small or large measure, everyone pines for when there's lack of it. God must have created it in sync with our nervous system otherwise, the latter, which controls everything that we do, would have gone for a toss! One of the web definitions reads "a natural and periodic state of rest during which consciousness of the world is suspended". If you have now guessed it right, I am talking about "SLEEP". The very fact that I am writing a blog on it, indicates that I love this phenomenon/activity and specialise in it.

If you ever happen to meet anyone who knows me through school/college, he/she would tell/demonstrate to you my impeccable gestures while I slept in the class right beneath the nose of a professor. I have been told that when tried to awaken, I have fluttered my legs in dissonance and in pretence that I am listening :-). With no offence meant to the professor/lecturer/presenter, I really sleep well. I do not feel drowsy, I just sleep. For anyone who sees me doing it or is sitting next to me, it is a cause of utter embarassment. At that point in time, even if I am thrown out of the class, I would still sleep. While most of you would consider it as imprudent or daft behaviour, I would explain to you briefly what I go through while exibiting such behaviour. Due to my 'not-so-high' level of intelligence, it often happens that I do not follow what is being taught or maybe, my attention span is so low that I don't allow my nervous system anytime more than this span to absorb what's going on around me. My free, hence restless nervours system, then switches itself off (to save my metabolic energy for other vital causes ;-)). Hence, sleep is triggered by a complex group of hormones, and that respond to cues from the body itself and the environment. I pity and adore people at the same time, who can stay awake even when they are completely passive to the environment, I really am a failure in this regard. (But have no regrets!)

On other occassions, a drowsy summer afternoon, a cosy winter morning, a breezy monsoon all, my bed after a day's hard work, trigger in me the same set of hormones, the aftermath of which I have no control over. I don't consume alcohol, but those who do have told me that they are better off after drinking than me, just before getting sleep. If I try to resist, I get a very irritating sensation. It feels that a fistful of granular chilli powder has been rubbed on my retina and the sensation ceases only when when the eyelids meet each other. Whenever I have tried ensuring vision at such times, the onlookers get horrified as my eyes turn red and either look like a dracula or an alcoholic! ;-D (Please do not get scared, I am a very amicable human being otherwise :-)) Also, yawning is not an acoompaniment when I feel sleepy, I just fall asleeeeeeeep!..in a fraction of a second, the way people feel unconciousness. If I yawn, I am not sleepy, I might be generally bored or have nothing better to do.

There have been hillarious incidents, reasons for which all have been my irrestible sleep. Once, my roommate, on a day before the exam, tried throwing different baits to make me study on that scorching summer afternoon which had induced droopiness in everyone. After the whole day passed, I promised her that I would do justice to this exam during the night. While everyone had a nice laugh at my promise, she was still planning in assumption that I was lying. At around 4 am on that auspicious morning, she brutally kicked me out of the bed into the hostel corridoor (She's otherwise a very gentle human being) and yelled at me "Fail ho jaayogi!". I then, gathered myself, to turn a few pages of the book scripted in Greek & Latin, still retaining the greyness in vision.

Please do not ask me the results of that exam. I am blessed that I passed.

A few occassions where I slept unperturbed can't go unmentioned- In a crowded Mumbai local, while I was standing on my toes and people were resting on me from all sides. Someone whose shoulder i unintentionally used to rest my head on, shoved me off in disgust. Another time, I slept in the hall of fame/shame, the exam hall... Since my grey cells had got worked up enough yet couldn't render any solace to my teary answer sheet, they decided to reconcile with the goddess of sleep and drag my head down on the table.

I am sure that I will have enough stories even in future to keep updating this blog. Actually my pride and weakness for sleep is much higher than my ability to articulate it in writing, otherwise I would have offered you a more interesting read.

I request people who are insomniacs, to get treated as best as they can because I sincerely believe that they are missing out on a very beautiful feeling in this world. It's a state of being with oneself, completely oblivious to what's happening around. I love that state when I don't remember what happened before I fell asleep, that gives me a feeling that I would be held less accountable for anything that went wrong in this world during that time. No pain, no fear, no joy, no sorrow, no anger nothing...For me, that's the only way to attain 'nirvana'. ;-D If I am sleep derrived, I lose control over myself completely. I normally am not so fond of the dreamy/nightmarish sleep because that means my brain is still functioning and I love putting it to rest. Only then, I wake up with a very positive feeling, a sense of completeness, a sense of 'no loss'! I believe in quality over quantity sleep.

Very often, my sleeping habit has been misconstrued as misbehaviour, but I swear I would pay any money to get an 'anti-sleeping' pill or anything that helps me check that irritating sensation on my retina.

At the same time, I feel, it's better off to sleep when one is passive than pretend to be active. And I am sure the number of people who derrive pleasure out of this activity in this world are not any less than those who love eating, listening to music, reading etc as the number of members in the "SLEEP" community on Orkut are over 1,30,000.

So, take a chill pill whenever you are upset with life and have a wonderful sleep!