Passing the Parcel

The choice of topic is rather random however, is one that has intrigued me right from my school days.

 We often hear about ‘khaandaan ka vaaris (family heir)’ , ‘family trait’ , ‘it’s in the gene’ and many such phrases which imply that we are rather proud of what we are passing on to the next generation. Sociologically, the explanation is – we all love ourselves the most in this world and subconsciously want to leave atleast a trace of ourselves in this world. We achieve this by having children and training them to be the person that we like. We, of course, like to believe that we are offering the best training to our children, oblivious of the fact that they would never become our replicas. Never mind, if in the process, we pass on some weaknesses too! To the extent that sometimes even the preaching/ teachings of the father and the mother in the same household are out of phase with each other. Obviously, each one claims that the better one is theirs.

I often ponder if this is it about inheritance. Is inheritance only about the gene? Well, there are enough examples in the society where the actor’s children are actors and engineer’s children are engineers. But in many cases, they are not have as wise as their parents even though the parents tend to pretend they are. I don’t mean that DNAs are redundant, they do play a vital role but there are enough and more examples where the children do not resemble their parents or do not even behave like them. When the children are in the wrong and, we know that they have picked up the trait/ behavior from someone in the family, do we boast about inheritance? We certainly don’t! Sheepishly, we hide it.

There are two scientific terms that elucidate this concept better: genotype (the genetic make-up of an individual) and phenotype (the environment in which the individual is made).

In the genetic hierarchy, grandparents or even great grandparents play an imminent role. There can be genotypic or phenotypic characteristics which are suppressed in a couple of generations and gets re-expressed in the 3^rd or the 4^th one. Going by the phenotype of each generation, the context of learning a particular habit changes but the content remains the same. The means/ tools change with time, but the end remains the same. For example, the grandfather may have been very tall, the father can be short and the son yet again may be very tall. The grandfather may have shown resilience by walking 10 miles to school every day while residing in a village, the father may have been a little more privileged and the son today maybe going to an international school in a car every day. But the resilience may have been passed on in terms of what the child is achieving, by walking that extra mile as compared to his peers.

Whenever I failed to learn/ do something on my own, my mother would say “Everything cannot be spoon-fed or told or handheld through, one must learn from what’s going on in the environment”. Needless to say, she demonstrated ample examples of that. As a kid, I never understood what she meant as I always felt that she should salvage me but somewhere deep down the thought has stayed with me.

In the context of inheritance, ‘learning from the environment’ adds another dimension. This includes, learning from peers, learning via observation - from whatever is happening around in the house, school, society, even learning from other’s mistakes and successes, or, from any other factors that may stimulate our brain. An interesting anecdote - in the city where I grew up, the ‘Newspaper wala’ had a typical manner of delivery. Since he had too many at hand and limited time, he would roll the paper into a tight, thin cylinder and tie it with a knot of jute fiber. He would then throw this roll accurately into the balcony of a specific apartment, even on a 3^rd floor atleast from a 300- 500 metres distance, while he was still on his bicycle in slow motion. That was  more difficult than the dart board. If he made one mistake, he wouldn’t be paid for it. To me, that was an example of a skill learnt for survival. It doesn’t matter what one has learnt through books, what matters is the application of what is taught to us.

Application of existing knowledge/ skills/ behavior is also inheritance. For example, a child as a daughter or son may not have been interested in cooking or may not have ever directly learnt cooking from his/her mother. But as this child grows to become a parent, may unknowingly start adopting those recipes for their children.

Sometimes, inheritance is not just from people, it can be from nature, it can be from the weather around us. People who grow up in natural surroundings learn from plant or animal behavior, and imbibe their methods of dealing with hardships. People from the hills or different in behavior from those who have been brought up in the plains. While those growing up in a metropolis lack that element and get opportunities to learn more from human behavior or, though myriad activities they are engaged with.

To me, inheritance is the summation of every learning, every impression…during the formative years of a person’s character. Having said that, character is also shaped by  inheritance, which in turn is dynamic. It changes with every person, every generation. Even two siblings of the same household do not pick up the same traits from their parents or, their environments. Sometimes, phenotypic inheritance may far outweigh the genotypic inheritance, and we may not even realize it. The goal therefore, should be to pass on the good elements to our children and enable them to pick and choose the balance on their own. So that they can in turn, bequeath the legacy of ‘good’ inheritance to their children. Let us all remember - What we pass on to children as values, culture, behavior, skills, temparent etc, is what they inherit and make their future society. Let us help them make it a good one.

A folklore that always comes to my mind in this context – A lion cub got lost in a jungle and joined a herd of goats. They began to raise him. Eventually, he started bleating like them instead of roaring, his gene didn’t matter. He had to be shown himself as an image in the pond by his fraternity to remind him who he was. So, once again, we are not just made up of what we are born with but what we inherit.

I am grateful to my parents, grandparents, teachers, friends, neighbours, who, in all these years, have contributed to my inheritance. I am proud of it and like every parent, am trying to infuse my ‘inheritance’ into my daughter. Needless to say, she will carve her own identity and redefine ‘inheritance’ on her own terms.

Nurturing Joy

I am an obsessive gardener – even tucking out a dry leaf or watering the plants or digging up mud and dirtying myself in it makes me happy. I also am a parent by choice.

Ever since I have had my daughter, there has been a constant tug of war inside me, for time and energy – a pull towards my little balcony garden and a push towards my child’s needs that I committed myself to.  I could resolve this war rather easily when I discovered that there are many synergies between the both…

Both need to be NURTURED and with LOVE after all…

1. MILESTONES are for US and NOT for THEM. The moment you have a baby you get a doctor’s file with a chart showing the milestones that the baby must meet in the coming months and years. And we too use all our energies in ensuring that they are met or fret over it if they are late compared to contemporary kids. 

The same is true for plants in the garden. I have seen many enthusiasts ask the plant nursery owner even before buying “Will this bloom, by when?”, “Does this get infected easily by worms?”.  It is like someone asking us “Will you be healthy next year around this time?” or, “will you learn 3 new things in next 6 months?”!! That seems weird, right?

We must remember that we are dealing with life and not with machines – If we don’t exhibit predictable behavior ourselves, how can babies or saplings? They too get affected by the environment, by people around and most importantly the way they are nurtured.

These milestones are best left to Nature. As the nurturer/ parent, I am sure we get signals in advance if we are doing our job well and yet there’s a problem.

2. PATIENCE is the biggest VIRTUE.  Every parent will admit that they have spent hours in feeding a toddler or in putting an infant to sleep, or trying to teach them something for a school exam.

Similarly, I have spent months and sometimes a couple of years watching my sapling grow before it blooms or, fruits. Even a creeper that readily grows in even adverse conditions, didn’t take to my wall before 2 years.

But when finally the eyes see what they are yearning for, it is a pleasure par heaven! And many a times when I was about to just give up hope, that little bud popped out or a seed sprouted into a sapling or, my little daughter responded to my physical commands (she has not yet learnt to speak) and acknowledged with a smile. I then say to myself “I am not sure if I deserve this victory but I should have not lost my patience so easily…”

3.  INNOCENCE makes them BEAUTIFUL.  Plants potted in soil are the most meek and passive living beings that one can come across. The pots can be moved around, watered more or less without understanding their needs, they may have space or sunlight lesser than they need , but they NEVER COMPLAIN. Even if the leaves are drooping, the day you water them they bounce back to life only showing gratitude that you realised their need/ pain. That is why every time I look at the patch of green in my balcony, I know that the peace and beauty it lends my mind, far outweighs the trouble I take for them.

Again, we must be grateful for the fact that right from the way they are born to the school they are put in, they are completely at our mercy.  With my daughter, there are umpteen moments in a day when she bears pain or discomfort because of the people handling her (particularly me) and expresses either meekly or nothing at all. And the moment she is relieved of that pain (just in case we manage to identify the root cause),comes her spontaneous and magical smile. Simply makes my day!

4. HARD WORK BRINGS JOY. Nothing comes free in this world and particularly those things that are beautiful. Parenting is absolute bliss but not without the mess of a toddler that a parent must clean up or, those school projects that the parent must complete or the lunch box for school that must be prepared whether the child eats it or not. Yet there’s no one on the planet who understands YOU better than your OWN child, there’s no one else who will FORGIVE you with a clean heart despite the restrictions you impose on them.

I love dirtying myself in soil and cow dung manure because I know the bounty that it will yield the plants in the next few weeks. Not just me it lends peace and joy to whosoever looks at them. If I don’t find time to clip off that old shoot hanging out from the windowsill or, the balcony grills, I keep thinking about it until I clean them up. The live ones do share their gratitude by quickly taking over that space by new green foliage.

5. LIFE LIKES SUNSHINE AND HAPPINESS. My little one always has her foot outside home even when she couldn’t walk. It doesn’t matter how clean or dirty the place is, or where she might get hurt or infected. She always wants to be under the sky…with people, with life and even with my plants in our balcony. Home means boundaries to her zest.

Needless to say, plants too love sunshine, not just for photosynthesis but for the limitless energy that it gives them. Even in an open balcony, one can see that a shoot will sneak out through the grills and grow disproportionately in the direction of sun rays coming in. Botanists call it ‘phototropism’, I call it ‘Happiness-tropism’! J

 

 

 

               

 

Weekend, weekend, come again

The countdown starts right from the time I step into office on Monday morning. Flipping through the pages of the desktop calendar and weaving plans, most people wait for it every week like a special day of their life.  

Yes, you guessed it right – I am talking about the weekend.  In my case, the anticipation of the weekend is more pleasurable than those 2 days themselves.

The Saturday morning alarm rings a little later than on the weekdays but with a frenzied list of domestic or personal to-dos. While some come with developmental benefits like writing this blog, developing a piece of art to adorn one of my walls, most others are necessary evils for survival.  A rising middle class family is often sinking in EMIs, credit card bills, fixed deposit declarations and other traditional stuff like electricity bills, internet bills etc. All of these offices are thankfully open on Saturdays latest until 01:00 AM. While there is a clear hesitation in mind to have a regular bread-butter or cornflakes breakfasts but these offices leave me with no other option.

Coming back, the hill of tidying, organizing and laying out tasks almost drown me. I swim back to surface practically only on Monday morning. Ironically, there's no boss for these tasks, no timeframe, no taskmasters around and the only customer to serve is 'I, me, myself' and this one goes berserk if even one of these tasks are not completed. One side of me loves lethargy – I can spend hours admiring the plants in my flowerbed or reading just one article in the newspaper or chatting with my new found 2 and ½ year old friend from my neighbourhood. The other side reprimands me even for sleeping 10 minutes extra on a weekend, for not being able to do anything constructive beyond scrubbing and wiping, for not being able to spend quality time with my better half!

In a nutshell, whatever I do, my mark sheet for the weekend reflects poorly.  The nicest thought on a weekday evening is to list down things and push them to the weekend saying to myself "I will be home all day so I will finish it on the weekend." That gives me a feeling that I am being organized and planning out in advance. My subconscious already knows that I am virtually lying to myself and at the same, challenging my overall physical and mental ability. It's like taking sugar free when you are diabetic, ignoring the fact that it will not solve the insulin problem in anyway.

All happiness-led activities like cooking and eating something special (if possible, also feeding some people), reading a book, tending to some plants that have long craved for attention, surfing something useful on Internet or even watching a movie all scream and plead for time. Even the tasks that are outsourced like ironing clothes, basic cleaning by maid, a pipe leakage to be attended or some additional woodwork to be done all need more delivery skills from my end than the service benefits that I enjoy from them. If I were that good with time management, I would have been at a different pinnacle in life. Then………… why I am trying so hard to make my weekend meaningful in the first place??! The customer inside me is so demanding that it doesn't let me sleep in peace from Monday - Friday if I don't accomplish all those tasks over the weekend.

The result is lack of sleep, and physical fatigue on a Monday morning. Anybody may laugh at this – people usually plan weekend getaways. I would rather go out on a weekday evening than spend time shopping in overcrowded malls or markets, queue up at restaurants or spend time on the roads which already scourge my weekdays. Would you call it bad management? Well this is one of the most complex projects that I manage currently which include house maintenance, vehicle maintenance, self development, recreation, guest management, interior decoration, office work leftovers (extended professional commitments) and other activities that lead to sustainable and peaceful existence.

A funny anecdote – If my gas cylinder exhausts in content on a weekday and I don't follow up on a Saturday morning (the booking planning starts from Thursday) then I am likely to be able to cook food only next Saturday. J

My Go Green spree

Ever since the world is sharing stress about the climate change issue, including greenhouse effect, depletion of ozone layer, melting of glaciers in the Arctic among others, I often pondered that there must be a simple solution to all this. When life blossomed on this planet, I am sure there was everything in abundance and even now we have not run out of everything we have. We are just fast exhausting what we were gifted by virtue of our birth and hence like the fear of death, we are afraid that we would have much lesser food, water, air, space etc than the entire mankind needs.

But for someone like me who has grown up amidst planned greenery, a vibrant garden, has rested under large gulmohar trees and fiddled around with touch-me-nots, it is difficult to imbibe or even visualize this fear of scarcity. I learnt about this more academically, thankfully I did not experience the pain of lack of natural resources (in particular greenery) until I was 23. And that is a good enough period to grow up into a healthy human being having fed on fresh air and foolishness.

Then, like life had it in store, Mumbai happened to me. It has been almost 6 years now and yet it feels like I am an old pipal tree talking to the people passing beneath me and requesting them to let me live.
Mumbai is looked upon as one of the economically developed and one of the fast growing cities in India. An average apartment costs more than the number of stars in Milky Way Galaxy and yet towers grow up at the speed of light years. Hence it is not difficult to understand that here, people have everything but space.
Every bit of greenery is brutally uprooted to erect these towers and even though the municipal corporation has mandated some plantations in every building, the former far outweighs the latter. Hence, pollution is an understatement here. People are making houses in the stratosphere assuming there will be more relief than in the troposphere. But the point is everyone can feel the lack of oxygen in this city.

I know it doesnt take oxygen to fuel the buoyant business in this city but it certainly takes oxygen to retain that buoyancy - which comes through the people.

'Green' they say, is a color soothing for the eyes. Greenery makes our surroundings look clean. A lush green neighbourhood is a sign of being pollution free or atleast a source of fresh air (oxygen). While some plants are air purifiers, some others have medicinal effects and others which are purely ornamental.

So much has been read and written about the importance of greening the environment, but if you ask any average Mumbaikar for a potted plant in their house - they would be bemused as the struggle to save every inch of space doesn't leave any space in their minds for a pot of green. So there are many children in this city who cannot identify with common flowers like dahlia, chrysanthemam, petunia - Rose too they see only in bouquets or maybe a little more on Valentine's Day. [I am not sure how many people are lucky to have a verandah or terrace to have a terrace garden] I feel the relationship with nature starts early in life - if you don't develop an emotion for it like you do for kith and kin, you don't feel for it later too.

Anyway, when I had to buy a house these thoughts quite jammed my mind - Will I ever have a green wall outside my house like I did as a child, will I ever whiff the scent of flowers in monsoons or, see the beautiful bloom bursts of winter. The pocket size is a determinant of the house so my better half and I finally parked ourselves in a house which is in a rather remote corner of Vashi in Navi Mumbai. With millions of wishes and smiles from the lady luck herself, we got a house with a decent balcony and 2 flowerbeds attached to each of the bedrooms.

Needless to say, I quickly repositioned my old collection of plants - the trailing thorny bouganvillea, the healthy and fresh jasmine, the blue-flowered aparajita which creeps only to lend its beauty and a couple of ornamental plants. To my surprise, there was still lots of space left for me to continue thinking green.

I exercised my brain furthermore with all its fertility, browsed and stopped over small roadside nurseries on the highways, asked garden experts, surfed internet and finally zeroed in on a so-called garden consultant who kindly consented to visit me on a certain Saturday. To my delight, this was the day next to the World Earth Day and thus I kept alive my optimism of seeing my 'green' dream come true. After due diligence of the available space, assessing the sunlight, water drainage, and the aesthetic appeal, we listed down our overall requirement for inreasing the size of our flora family.

Ever since that day I have been waiting with bated breath, to see the creepers in the balcony garland its perimeter and create a shadow that is a welcome respite on a sunny day, to see some flowers blossom irrespective of the mood swings of the people staying in the house and some graceful plants that have leaves in colours other than green too.

The installation of my 'green' world is likely to take place on the forthcoming Saturday. If this works out, this monsoon will be one of my most favorite monsoons ever as I would watch the greenery exude oodles of peace, joy, beauty and grandeaur right next to me. And that --- will be my most perfect setting for a good life - healthy, wealthy and wise.

Flying Colors

India's festival of colors, Holi fascinates me like no other festival and adds a new color to my life every year. Tradition has passed two stories as the premise for the festival and like many other stories on religion and mythology, they have carefully transcended several generations.

One demonstrates the truth of victory, wherein Prahlad was the only virtuous and truthful soul in a family of sin doers and 'Holika' was his aunt. Typically on the Holi eve, a stack of throwaway items like waste paper, straw, wood pieces and other inflammable substances is done up as 'Holika' and is burnt. This symbolizes the end of the evil and the following day the triumph is celebrated with a vibrant splash of colors.

The second story is of the beautiful romance of Lord Krishna (one of the most popular Hindu Gods) and his lady Radha. The couple played Holi in their hometown Vrindavan (now in Uttar Pradesh) while dispersing love and joy in the air, for all the town dwellers to cherish.

Irrespective of which story the community follows, Holi is one of the most unifying festivals across India, next only to Diwali. Since the mode of celebration does not involve any detailed worship (though some families might follow a ritual or so), the interplay of colors laces into everyone's lives very easily irrespective of gender, caste, language et al.

Typically, there are 2 modes in which the overwhelmingly beautiful festival shapes up. People either apply dry colors, namely 'gulaal' (available in powder form) and greet each other by applying each other on the face, forehead etc. In some states, children put 'gulaal/abeer' on the feet of elders and seek blessings. Or, they could bathe each other in a fountain of colors which is conjured in a sporty mix of color pigments in large volumes of water. The latter in particular, absolutely consumes me.

Like it may sound, some people are not so comfortable with the idea of getting wet for the sake of Holi, but the energy that this bout of colour adds to an individual even after the first shower is only seen to be believed. Anyone and everyone who has once played Holi in good company will pine for the day to come next year.

To cure new age diseases, people resort to laughter therapy, hydro therapy, yoga, art of living and so many other ways of generating positive energy. I am sure, color has a role to play in keeping us buoyant in our day to day lives. A bright color quite naturally denotes joy, success, congratulations, celebrations... Dull colors too leave an impact, even though the story might be left untold. In this context, I strongly feel Holi alone has a very strong positive undercurrent. Even if one doesn't play himself/herself, he/she is bound to soak in the color bath that springs up like a fountain. Just watching a fully colored individual brings a smile to your face. It is entycing beyond means...

Though this year, I experienced some eco friendly colors, some made by Pidilite Industries, which were safe on the skin, most other colors are known to leave the color on the skin till a couple of days after the festival. Humour reigns supreme when you see someone with pink ears in an office, or with green nails writing an exam, or blushing with red color on cheeks without having fallen in love.

I personally have successfully brought to the color flow one individual who has never played before, every year that I played Holi. Though that comes with lot of initial resentment, but no such individual has ever regretted the decision. Moreover, all of those people have become regulars in playing Holi ever since.

This festival evokes strange emotions - the brilliant spectrum of colors not only makes me fly high but fly with the wind. It unites, excites and most importantly establishes an unique camaraderie in the group of people playing together.

All those who havn't tried it yet, please do not waste any more time - play next year without fear!

Why Women's Day?

When we celebrate a day, we know that it is once a year event and hence deserves its due on that particular day. There are just two genders in this world, we have multiple languages, myriad races and cultures yet we pick one of the genders to celebrate 'The Women's Day'.  Being a woman, it makes me happy and at the same time surprises me equally more. I am happy because it allows me to celebrate the achievements and roles of people who were born with some of the same intrinsic abilities as I was. And it surprises me because if women have really arrived in life then why do we still need to remind ourselves of their capabilities on just the Women's Day? Are we trying to salvage women from the impending troubles or just doing some kind of damage control?

I somehow can't gather myself to believe that we celebrate Women's Day. If all was well with women, then why do we need to do them this extra favour? And if they were so special, then why not make them feel so special all round the year? Why do we then not celebrate 'Men's' Day' and give them the once-in-a-year special treatment too!

Whenever there's a talk on rewarding women, we harp about their roles as mother, sister, wife, professional etc – Admittedly I have no reason to differ as I know it's tough. But in an analogous manner, men also have roles as father, son, brother, professional etc that they might demand recognition for.

The only plausible reason that I can justify the celebration of this Day is with the fact that I know society at large is still somewhere unfair to the physically weaker gender. I say society as I do not mean men only – on some occasions, women too dig their own grave and their peers'! So collectively we somewhere need to further the cause of progress of women on an annual basis and hence this day is deemed so important. The reasons are so deep entrenched in our economic and cultural fabric as a human civilization that they are beyond the scope of this blog. In poorer or developing economies, women are victimized more often than in developed ones – as much as history has evidence for but nevertheless, those countries too are not devoid of any women centric problems.

The moot question is – What is so fundamental about their existence that makes them prone to suffering of a kind that the world is empathetic about but unable to reach a solution for. According to me, even if a girl is trained at par with a boy and is made to imbibe all elements that a successful individual needs to possess – the vulnerability by design doesn't evade the woman. The insecurity of being physically hurt, the need for emotional recluse in a man in whatever capacity and most importantly the fear of losing social identity in absence of an association with a man often push women to stretch themselves until they break. Quite visibly, the faster a woman accepts this vulnerability and abandons it, the stronger she emerges in life else hell breaks loose on her.

We have been witness to many successful single women but all have a story of suffering behind them that catapulted their growth story.

Here, I am not referring to 'happiness' – for that is really relative. I am referring to that sense of peace about being a woman, which many women lack. That is primarily the reason why they need this booster dose of confidence and appreciation from all men they know on days like this.

It gives them a high, makes me feel good too but it spurs an urge to evaluate myself as a women for the rest of the year. Am I confident as a woman? Am I safe as a woman? Will I get the same victory if I do everything that a man does or will that be just a way to please myself? Will I be misconstrued if I behave in a way that a man does? Do I really have to fight for my respect all the time – on the road, within the family, in the office, at the marketplace…Or, can I just let myself be and feel happy and safe in this universe?

Many women I know have actually achieved emancipation, in close co-operation with the man she walked the road with. It can be anybody, a relative, a friend or a complete stranger. Kudos to such men who understand this need for women to not only stand on their own but feel on their own!

There's no law that can herald this change, there's no education that can cause this perfection, there's no society that can act as a balm for problems that women are quintessentially occupied with – A woman has to learn to envelope herself with all the necessary energy, shield herself from all physical and emotional onslaught, yet protect her tender core that the world so loves.

For all that may or may not change, we cannot deny that only a woman can give birth, can create life inside her and life is beautiful. So is every woman!

Wish all female readers a very happy women's day and all male readers a happy accompaniment!

Laugh out Loud (lol)

Though I am not very good with sms or chat language, the frequently used abbreviations - But ever since I learnt what lol stands for, I have made the maximum use of it wherever possible. The obvious is true - I love laughing out loud. To be honest, I just can't laugh at a tolerable volume.

The repercussions of a hearty laughter that makes my stomach muscles ache, my eyes tear, and my facial muscles twitch is far more than temporary. Every part of my existence resonates with positive energy. The memory of the laughter stays with me for years. Though it is sometimes rude or inconsiderate for people in my vicinity (I mean, the volume of a loud laughter), but eventually everyone gets wrapped into laughter - that at least is far better than mindless chatter, cribbing sessions, fruitless gossip among others.

We have all heard and learnt quotes like ‘Laughter is the best medicine’ but only a handful of people have really applied this art in their own lies.

Pardon me for my cynicism about the urban razzmatazz but I have always felt that pure play humour is somewhere missing from the otherwise prosperous lives of city dwellers. More often, a smile for a greeting is an indication of being well-mannered than being pleased to meet the person. Whenever we press the ‘smile’ button in our brain, the mouth increases aperture and the lips separate. We are so adept at it that sometimes we don’t realize how mechanically we are doing it.

I don’t know the ‘anatomical’ reasons behind laughter, rather never wanted to know as I fear that might make the process more mechanical. I leave this exercise purely to my right brain, when I feel like laughing. Nevertheless I know that it energizes me, it sends some electrifying signals all across my body, it makes me float above the present, it makes me come over the frivolous worries that my mind might be otherwise pre-occupied with. It helps me overcome any prejudices that I might have held against the person that I am in company of. Even if it tires me, I have a good night’s sleep. Even if it is mindless or trivial or wastage of time, it is worth it!

In my younger days, I loved to tickle people into laughter. Once I had to deploy the trick to the best player in the opponent team in a basket ball match. While she was annoyed at that moment in time, she remembers me only for the laughter we shared after the match.

On another occasion, I broke into peals of laughter while walking down the memory lane in a crowded street in Mumbai. An old gentleman actually stopped me and indicated that I must join the nearby ‘laughter therapy’ classes that were on at a park that he showed me. He couldn’t believe that I was laughing so loudly by myself. 

As one grows older, we are conditioned to behave appropriately. While that’s a social norm we must follow, I have begun to experience that it subtly takes away your natural instincts by suppressing them over a long period of time. So much so, that a smile gets notified as a ‘smirk’ and laughter is interpreted as being more derisive than enlivening.

95% of average jokes are popularly known as PJs (poor jokes) and a handful which still continues to entertain are complemented as ‘good ones’. Sometimes we forget that sense of humour like all other senses are subjective and are based on one’s background, culture, thought process, maturity, linguistic abilities and many other factors. So what appears amusing to me might be a note of sarcasm for someone else. That’s perfectly fine – We should not or need not cross the territory to find pleasure in what someone else does or, to laugh at someone/ something just because the situation demands it. We should not get intimidated by someone else’s reactions on humour.

What is important is to laugh heartily. Even if we reserve 80% of our jokes for diplomatic relationships and trained social behavior, we should allow our jugular vein to get pumped with oxygen at least few times in a week, else there’s likelihood that we will be mentally unfit, though socially it might not be deemed so.

The greatest comedians in the world have taken hours of efforts to make people laugh – Humour doesn’t come easy. So people who are blessed with the art of making people laugh should rather work on honing their skills – there are not too many such people in this world.

Humour is also a function of relationships. A joke that makes for an enjoyable recipe amongst two friends might not be worth the while amongst another pair of people. It is important to be sensitive to the fact that the humour should reduce our stress and not add to it. No laughter can be a good medicine if it upsets someone. I am sure there will be ways to find out what can be the most delightful embellishments for the moments in question. A laughter with a clear conscience is often the right indicator and usually not misleading.

Another school of thought suggests that laughter comes naturally only when you are yourself, only then will it consume you and generate the desired positive effects. In such a scenario, it is important that we cherish this moment only with select people who know us well. Otherwise we again run into the risk of either a contained/ restrictive/ planned laughter or rubbing off someone the wrong way, both of which completely defeat the purpose.

It is also important to learn to laugh at one own self. If shame holds us back, we could do that privately but unless we do that we would never learn to respect ourselves and others. It also ushers in a sense of peace with ourselves; it makes us accept blithely what we are and what we stand for.

At any given point in time, if we reflect back on yester years, we are reminded of the moments when laughter and mirth surrounded us despite moments of anxiety or ill-will. That forever boosts our energy levels and our desire to relive those moments gets triggered.

At a personal level, it helps spread love, peace and friendship. At a professional level, it helps build teams, enhance productivity and reduce stress levels.

“If every word I said could make you laugh, then I’d love to talk forever…”

Water Water everywhere...

I am born Aquarian and hence have a natural affinity for water. At any given point in time, water is my favourite drink – the only thing that quenches my thirst.

I can quite identify with the characteristics of water as if it were a personality – its ability to take the shape of the container it is hosted in, its ability to quench thirst, its ability to support life, its ability to keep you afloat and drown you at the same time, its ability to cover the vast expanse of this universe….

Though I can't swim, I had no fear of water per se… Probably I had not faced its magnanimity, voracity and outrageous self before 26 July 2005. That was the floods that nearly posted me to heaven and threw me back to life in a matter of few hours.  After that, anything to do with water would make me have 'butterflies-in-stomach'. Not so literally, but yes there is a feeble 'fear of death' that I can't do away with.

Last weekend, I had a radically different experience. I happened to be at Nagaon beach near Alibaug with a group of friends. It is nearly 130 kms away from Mumbai. We were totally enjoying the elements of uncertainty about what we intended to do there, where would we stay there etc. The beach beckoned us…

While I was totally ignorant of the presence of water sports at the beach, my friends expressed interest in one or more of those water-based adventures. I blissfully succumbed to peer pressure soon and assured my attendance for 2 of them.

I find it worth a blog as this was my first such experience in life. Quiet synonymous with my high energy levels at that point in time was the speed boat. There was an option of doing it singly or with another friend. I safely chose the 2^nd one. So my experience is that of the backbencher and not of the driver, nevertheless pretty thrilling. One almost feels like sitting on a scooter which doesn't have its clutch and accelerator co-ordinated, in the initial stretch. Gradually the spirited waves surround you. My friend, as instructed by the boatman sped up as if we had to go touch the horizon in a matter of nanoseconds. While I exclaimed, 'Oh man, this is crazy!' She screamed back 'Rhituparna, hang on!' Truly, a friend in need is a friend indeed. J

As we went bouncing up and down on the waves, trying to reach for the sky and take the waves along on our voyage of joy, the crescendos of the moment were rapturous. On this voyage, I realized that if you pat the waves, they pat you back gently, if you slap them hard, they can almost send a chill down the spine with its retort. Well, God taught the 'tit-for-tat' policy to everything/everyone he created. J

Our laughter echoed along with the roaring waves as the water embraced our ecstasy from all sides.

The 2^nd one in question was the banana ride. While I had heard about it a lot, I was just not able to picture this. The moot question was – who wants to go? While 2 of us were quite gung-ho, 3 had reasons like 'I have a bad throat', 'The water is dirty here'. 'I have done this before in Goa', 'I don't know swimming' – After jumping for a few minutes on the horns of dilemma, I decided to get body-washed than brainwashed and 3 of us took the plunge!

After the speed boat, this tube like banana boat with a group of 6-7 people feels quite comfortable and easy until they take you in the middle of the sea. Then lo and behold, while we are still counting moments before the impending thrill, we realize we are deep down in the middle of the sea without any swimming skills. That was quite close to death, if we didn't have the life jacket. J Even while I write about this, I feel choked for a few moments. 360 degrees upside down inside water and tossed over like a particle!

In a matter of a few seconds, we surfaced with our heads popping above the sea level and I find them laaaaauuughing and abusing – 'What the hell!', 'What the f***'! I swear I wouldn't have enjoyed the moment without them – an exceptional one when humour overtook fear head-on. Priceless, whatsoever! I failed to adopt any technique as guided by the boatman and was nearly gulped down by every passing wave. Every sense organ was saturated with saline water, an add-on on my already congested respiratory tract. The vocal chords could not even move to cause coughing! While my friends learnt the art of staying afloat rather quickly, I was still dependant on the mercy of the boatman. He almost gave me yeoman's service that moment! I already commanded him to put me back on the boat first. ;-) Even while doing that, the law of floatation wasn't allowing me to climb back onto the boat so easily – they had to grab me by my jacket and pull me up like a sack of grain!

The next few moments I actually enjoyed watching the other survivors, some cool and some tensed. Some climbing on to the boat victorious and others making failed attempts and floating away from the boat again!

The next deemed question was where would they drop us next! The boatman assured us that it will be closer to the shore this time. While we were racing towards the beach, I uttered 'Itne kam paani me gira ke kya maaza hai!' Oh man! I was in deep sea again, unable to identify myself or even recall my name! I sank and swam, sank and swam some 6 times until I lost memory and grabbed the boatman, my support system there! Forget swimming, I couldn't even manage to stay afloat in 5 feet 4 inches of water!! The trick was to keep the legs down but some buoyant force would continuously make them horizontal. I could see my friends floating towards me, with a beaming smile on their faces and the sun rays blessing them.

Very very gradually, my cerebrum decided to adjust to the fact that I could now move towards the shore with my feet perched on the sands below. Every millimeter of water level going down was a welcome respite. J

We were welcomed by our friends on the beach like heroes of the war! We too had a million words to experience the wonder of a few seconds.  One of them looked at me and said 'Her face has turned pink!' 'Her lips have turned white!' Some picture was clicked apparently which I am not yet in possession of. My feet were totally numb, head was heavy, senses were choked but the heart was flying in the air!

I express gratitude with my entire self to those 2 friends whose insistence to accompany them made me experience this thrill! It is till beyond my vocabulary...

Simplicity Triumphs

Someone said to me "It's one of the most difficult things to lead a simple life". Ever since I have tasted corporate waters in a large urban island, I have felt this very often. Being genuine and simple at heart are rather cliched terms here. My profession has taught me to play articulately with words, control emotions, say the right thing to the right person at the right time et al but it is like a trap - the more you try to excel at it, the more you complicate matters! For sometime now, I was rather disturbed by people and situations that never allowed me to be myself, that did not allow me to answer simple questions in a lucid, speculation-free manner.


In November 2009, I had a chance to visit this very small place with very large iron ore deposits, namely, Meghatuburu, in Jharkhand. 'Meghatuburu' in tribal language means forests as dense as clouds. Beneath the dark, dense forests lay huge, simply huge deposits of iron ore. I am told these iron ore mines are nearly a piece of heaven for global steel giants.

The 'irony' though is that there are virtually no roads to get there. Huge bumpy mud pathways, metallic road in patches and no infrastructure for decent living in kilometres of radius of the place. The only real inhabitants of the place are the families of mining engineers who work in the iron ore extraction plant there and the natives (mostly tribals and other rural folks) of the land.

I had a chance to put up in the SAIL guest house there by virtue of my father's employment with the organization. While our day long stay was characterized by 'fresh air and peace', what really impressed me was the simplicity of the people serving us and other local folk.

I don't know how many of us will be able to picture this - their innocence was untouched by any fear, ugliness, worry, negativity whatsoever. In a place which doesn't even have a school or hospital in less than 10 kms, people do not complain about anything. And in this mega city that I live in, people are ever complaining - about friends, colleagues, people on the road, salary, traffic jams etc etc...

People who do not have adequate lights in the evening do not feel sad in the darkness but in a city that never sleeps and is ever bedazzled by lights has many people who feel 'darkness' in their hearts everyday.

People who do not get access to pizza, pasta etc cook and eat such lovely dal, chawal, aloo fry, salad and dahi that you only can taste it to believe it. And here the options are so many that people are now looking for 'health' food ;-)

People who have never been to school are so deep in their thought and sincere in their feelings even towards a stranger. This doesn't closely match even the most generous of friendships in this city.

I am really not exaggerating - I warmed up to it in just a day. Mosquitoes were hounding us but I didn't feel the pain, atleast for that day.

People learn 'art of living' and all sorts of other things to restore the peace and joy that's somewhere lost. On a more optimistic note, the stress levels of urban working people in India is lesser than that in some of the developed countries, I hear. I wonder what becomes of them in times of distress.

More we learn to accept people and things at face value, the more we learn to live in the moment, the more we learn to trust and love, the happier we would be..:-) No one's ever got peace by maintaining diplomatic relations. Not even two countries!

What are we made up of?

The age old saying goes 'Wealth is lost, nothing is lost. Health is lost, something is lost. Character is lost, everything is lost.'

While most people in this universe agree with this saying, the way they see it is different for most people. The world stage offers such a fast changing panorama of diverse cultures, times and beliefs that 'character' can truly not have a universal definition.

To me, character is a building block of our very existence – something that embodies our body and mind, something that is unique to every individual, something that defines our complete well-being, something that 'characterizes' us.

Again, going by the definition of health in the NCERT text book in school– 'Health is a state of complete physical and mental well-being', I feel Character also includes health in its realm.

So, just a simple sentence 'I am not feeling well' also reflects character – how much pain you can take, what makes you feel uneasy, how you behave when you are not so comfortable from within and when and where would you express this uneasiness. It tells the 'strength' of your character.

Under this premise, the measurement or realization of character is also quite subjective and based on qualitative parameters rather than quantitative parameters. You cannot rate someone on honesty, integrity, purity etc based on your scale. There's no standard metric. Your '5' can be someone else's '1'.

In view of my experiences and to the best of my knowledge and belief, the only unanimous definition of character could plausibly be – the measure of truth that you hold inside, the measure of truth that you offer and owe to yourself and to others. This measure alone invokes a faith which can be termed as character. In whatever capacity or capability, in whichever times or context, with whosoever, in howsoever manner if an individual can deliver truth, he is of 'good' character else of 'bad or low' character.

The measure of this 'truth' that I call 'the character' is easier explained than achieved. More often than not, we do not realize that somewhere deep within we are lying to ourselves. The reasons that govern this 'untruth' are beyond the scope of this discussion though. The higher the degree of 'untruth', the higher the restlessness to pose as someone else rather than ourselves, the higher the degree of uneasiness or discomfort with ourselves, with others and with the environment  overall, the higher the degree of doubt and fear. And that gradually diminishes the strength of your character – it takes character to live a good life, it takes character to love or make a friend, it takes character to be honest, it takes character to be brave amidst adversities, it takes character to earn money, it takes character to be knowledgeable, it takes character to be respectful of oneself and others, it takes character to live with a mind without fear and head held high.

And all this cannot be misconstrued by just the physical manifestation of someone's existence or a momentary behavior or reactions towards specific people or behavior in specific situations.

Character building starts the moment we are born – they say all babies too behave differently. But most of it is acquired as we grow up – I am not too sure where but somewhere both in our body and mind. It is like a perennial tree that takes years to grow but is green across seasons and once old enough entrenches its roots deep within.  Character building probably ends when we breathe our last. I chanced upon someone who refused to take any help even when he approached his death bed – he felt it was unfair to the others physically and emotionally. Even the last few words one utters before death is driven by character.

Being physically healthy or rather slim is 'cool' these days. Whether they believe in it or not, they join a gym or attend yoga classes or go for a walk. While it is very important, it is equally important to train our minds day-on-day. Most of us do not unfortunately have a regular exercise regime for the mind. Actually, I would call it 'building the character'. If you are of strong character, your will power (strength of mind) and your depth of emotions would keep you afloat even when your body is not supporting you. The body is housed in the character (like I stated earlier), so it gets taken care of.

Unfortunately, there are no lessons or coaching classes available on character building – it is eventual and can come only with a rigorous application of the body and the mind voluntarily – reading, writing, meeting people are good instruments for me as it exposes me to the elements of a good/strong character in the world elsewhere and makes me aspire to build it in. I am sure there is a multitude of options available; given what elements of character you already have or do not have. Like I said, 'the measure of the truth we owe and offer to ourselves and others' is the only definition of character. The more is that sense of truth, the stronger is your character. It is just important that we build it and work continuously towards it so that it is strong enough to protect our body and mind (since it embodies both) until we die.

When you are of good character, you will never doubt anyone else's. You will be secure about yourself, you will be confident about your capabilities, you would be clear at heart and will be a host to positive emotions, in all, you will be happier.

It is tiresome, but it is worth it!

Looking for a knowledgement management tool or a someone who can make one, given the requirements

'What is social bookmarking?' - explained with the help of a youtube video.
http://ping.fm/ZHqJl

Looking for a calendar of Enterprise IT events in India

Anticipating the session on PR 2.0 tomorrow

Exploring ping.fm

Which is my homeland?

I have spent 16 years of my life in the state of Bihar, right from my birth. Needless to say, it stirs up my soul whenever there's a question raised on the integrity of the people of Bihar, in general. I can, anyday vouch for the fact that I have met some of the most ferociously intelligent and genetically honest people from the state. My father has spent around 35 years working in the state. We were rather respected there, as Bengalis have historically had evidences of good grey matter and 'dowry' is absent atleast in more areas of West Bengal than it is in Bihar. My mother, being a teacher, still recalls some of the brightest brains who she had as her students and are now doctors & engineers in different parts of the country. Few of the top rankers in exams like IIT-JEE, CBSE-PMT, IAS entrance etc are inevitably from Bihar.

I wouldn't deny that there is lawlessnes, corruption and ignorance in many parts of Bihar but all of us know, a lot of it is the political melodrama that foists such misfortune in the state. Such that so many people with brilliant results are questioned when they produce their certificates.

And now, they are being beaten up in Maharashtra just because the lower classes from Bihar toil hard to become taxi drivers, carpenters, sweepers, cobblers etc in cities like Mumbai, Kolkata and Delhi. 

I owe allegiance to the city of Mumbai as it has really taught me a way of life but the vibrance of the city lies in its myriad hues. The day it loses its cosmopolitan nature, I can bet, it will no longer be the same Mumbai.

I have spent 4 years in the Vidarbha region of Maharashtra and 85-90% of the population there heralded from sub-urban and urban areas of Maharashtra, never did they question the remaining 10% OMS (Outside Maharashtra students) for their entry or stay in Maharashtra. Rather they were happy to learn/know from people who they were alien to. Atmost, they would express sympathy for the fact that they could visit their hometowns on a long weekend and we couldn't, owing to the distance from our homes.

And here in Mumbai, a stranger woman in the local train (Marathi by birth but married to a Punjabi man) had the audacity to ask me when will I leave Mumbai! I was spellbound!!

Not that I would let this women cast a shadow on the nice memories I have because of helpful souls in the city but I just pondered for a while - Does she need to stay in Punjab or Maharashtra now?

I have stayed in Kolkata, West Bengal for around 2 years but the Bengali culture, per se, makes me feel close to home. However, the recent incident with Tatas not only hangs my head in shame, it feels like a huge personal loss. The city which was the breeding ground for most intellectuals in the country once upon a time has been asleep for a very long time now. And the ones who are still shining, have to head out of the state, out of their homes for opportunities that they could sustain and excel in. I do not quite understand the political nuances of what happened but all I know from the common people like me, is - It was a huge loss for Kolkata and for West Bengal!

Kolkata is unfortunately now known as the city of strikes! Intellect still remains genetically intact with an average Bengali and has been demonstrated through several examples but what is now lacking is a will to win!

The world is changing really fast and India continues to lose every day on account of these disturbances arising in different parts of the country, out of falsified emotions based on language, caste, religion.

Not that none of us knew this before but my curiosity to know how many of us (amongst the educated Indians) can really stand up and say, "India is my homeland" and feel it too while crossing boundaries of states within India...

The Virtual Us!

Nowadays, very often we talk about how safe/secure is Orkut or any other social networking website? How reliable are the profiles on a matrimony website?
Though the fear for the unknown in human minds is believable, but I really can't understand why these questions are asked? After all, the users of such websites are human beings and they would behave exactly the way they behave in their real worlds. A gentleman cannot dupe anybody online and a habitual liar can't spell out the eternal truth online. In 99 out of 100 cases, I have seen people behaving exactly the way they are both in the real and virtual worlds. If we need to be defensive on the road against a common but an unknown man on the road, we need to be so even online. If we do not feel shy to approach anyone on the road, then we do not need to be so online. The only difference is the visibility of the face, but I am sure most people are not the best of face readers in this world. And given the very low Internet penetration in our country, it's considerably easy to figure out the nature of people on these websites.
In this ever shrinking world, where having the right information is a key driver in both our personal and professional lives, it would be rather foolish to not use these mega powerful sources of information. After all, the world is made up of 'We, the people' and with them alone lies all the knowledge and wisdom.
Orkut is often seen in the news for posed to have been instrumental in murders or other negative acts, but we forget that we derrive a lot of information in all of these cases from the same source.
Also, how many people have bothered to check the really exciting, informative and helpful communities on Orkut? Atleast I don't know of any survey that has ever shown the number of benefactors from Orkut.
I have been on Orkut since November 2005 and have seen it grown from a very nascent form to a very evolved one. In all phases, I have seen bugs which have been fixed by Google in due course of time. I have always had a very genuine and honest but detailed profile which has helped the right kind of people approach me - both acquaintances and strangers. Not that I have added all acquaintances and not that I have liked all strangers. So, it's very much like real life. It has aided me through thick and thin. Whether it was sharing a few lines of poetry with someone, or solving professional queries. Incidentally, it has helped me get married as well! I have a reasonably large number of people on my network and atleast 5% of them would certainly be ones whom I have still not met. Nevertheless, I share a good relationship with all of them - exactly the way I make new friends in the real life. LinkedIn, the professional network is also doing wonders for me these days. I believe, it's about the mind match and not about the face! That's why it is said - A man is known by the company he keeps.
I cannot imagine a life without Google. For me, it's a religion - whether it be Orkut, Gmail, Google search, news, videos, igoogle, blogs and many others. I feel empowered every time I am online as, without dislocating myself, I get answers to most of my queries.
So, those who are still negative about the virtual world, please come aboard and explore! There's a lot in life that you don't know about, you'll see through this medium. It's like scuba diving - discovery never ends!

The Weather and Me!

Something that has invariably affected my state of mind and overall well-being is the weather and the climate, at large. For me, good and bad days come with a complete mental picture of the weather on the respective days. My levels of hunger, sleep, mood, lethargy are effectively regulated by the weather. So much so, that even if I am sitting in an air conditioned office the whole day, I, symptomatically behave/misbehave in direct proportions to the weather outside.

So, in effect, if I am irritable and have a 'not-feeling-nice' aura about myself, then it must be a hot and sultry day. I just cannot take humidity! Maybe because I was born on a chilling cold, winter night, my soul finds solace in winter. The summers are typically of two kinds in India. One is the very hot and dry one, and the other is moderately hot but a very sultry, sticky one! They can be equated to Delhi & Kolkata respectively. I can take the former much better than the latter. Humid places facilitate my clothes getting plastered to my body even after a bath! The worst days of my life are analogous to such a weather. In dry heat, if the scorching sun can be avoided, atleast inside my room, jaljeera and a water cooler brings respite!

Coming from Bokaro, which was more of the dry type, it was a pleasure to gulp down chaas/lime juice after cycling down on a hot summer afternoon, from school. Water is virtuos for me. & Any soul who offers cold water may live long and all his wishes be fulfilled. Also, a summer afternoon, wherein, the room has been cosily protected from the solitary rays, and I might have had a heavy carbohydrate lunch, a deep sleep is inevitable. There are hillarious stories in my life centred around these sleepy afternoons. When the sun descended after such an afternoon, and my mother would go out to water the plants in our garden, the aroma of what is typically known as "mitti ki khusboo" used to be mesmerising!! I really miss that in Mumbai :-( Metropolitan cities have no flavour of their own. They are all alike, according to me.

I pine to be at the bank of the river Ganga, as I did in Hooghly, during summer vacations. My grandparents stay there. The river breeze really takes away all maladies! It communicates volumes between people who are just silently sitting at the bank of Ganga.

Then, comes pouring down the blessings of the rain God! Indian economy, being agri-based, it's a blessing for the farmers, but for city dwellers it's hell multiplied by 5 times! In one such Monsoon, I was on a job hunt in Mumbai and in another, I marginally survived the floods. But Bokaro, which is located on the Chhotanagpur plateau, has differences in altitude in every road. So, the rain water flows down like a stream and it was fun peddling down through it and splashing off the water on some snob's car! ;-)

A good monsoon evening comes with coffee and pakoda and an afternoon comes with khichdi with butter/ghee in it. And, the fan of the 'goddess-of-sleep' that I am, the entire day from sunrise to midnight enforces that drowsiness in me and re-instills all faith in procrastination! Only that the dawn and mid-day look like, which misleads the signals sent to my nervous system - "It's time to wake up and go to work"/ "It's time to have lunch".

The autumns are usually nice - just like in Tagore's poetry! The Durga Pooja adds to the pleasure of the weather! Those who can smell the weather, recognise the change in colour of flowers & leaves, and can identify this season better. And since I am 'Rhituparna' (a leaf in every season), I can see it :-) (Except for in this ridiculous city - Mumbai! The phenomenon called 'The October heat' is disgusting! It's hotter than summer here in that month!)

Though I have never stayed in ice-cold places and am yet to feel the snow, but winters are indeed lovable! The flowers that bloom, the vegetables that grow in this season, the warmth of sunshine, the cosy clothes,all radiate positive energy unlike the constant stickiness in summers. In reminiscence, I cherish the memory of simple acts during schooldays - exhaling smoky air, cycling through heavy mist not knowing what's ahead, and warming the refill of the ball point pen in between palms to make it write! All good food, in my knowledge & taste, come only in this season. Since I am not very garment savvy, I like the fully clad look in cold, crisp winters. I have more fashionable sweaters/jackets than T-shirts :-) Unfortunately, winter is non-existent in Mumbai. In my first December here, I waited each day to feel the winter and slept in disappointment every night. The city, so renowned for its deadly monsoons has hardly felt winters. Incidentally, I got married in winter as well so it was added pleasure :-)
Falling into spring, I am reminded of practical exams, study leave for an exam that I will anyway not fare well in, or the disastrous onsalught (exam) itself. However, after a long spell of laziness in waking in the mornings, it starts feeling better. In school, post exams, I could smell the leaves of new books & notebooks along with the season, though, the content of those books never interested me ;-) In college, culmination of university exams meant a month of vacation at home. Also, 'Basant panchami' (Basant means spring), that coincides with Saraswati Puja, is a beautiful day. Bhog, orange/yellow/saffron colored clothes, books kept away for worship, fills happiness inside out of nothingness - one bright day out of the study room in that sad study leave period!
In the present corporate life, however, all these pleasures are more memories than experiences. I still pine to feel each of them till all my 5 senses are working! In the air conditioned offices, life has got too conditioned not to feel these zero penny but inexplicable wonders.

IIT/IIM syndrome...

Coming from Bokaro, I have been very close to the IIT/IIM aspiration of the country...to an extent that anybody who didn't get through was considered as being useless!
It has been a much discussed question - What makes these IIT or IIM graduates so ..., ..., ....? These attributes are both good and bad.
I have heard people saying that they are very snobbish, think too high of themselves, get too much of attention etc. Except for in the matrimony market, where I too feel they are over valued and their degrees should not be weighed against the respect of a woman; I believe, they deserve to be proud of what they are. The logic is simple. But to understand that, one needs to have sat through the IIT-JEE and the CAT.
I have taken both and therefore, I know that it's sheer intellectual masturbation that one goes through those hours of examination! Your vital cause of existence changes, it's a life changing experience which can put you inside or throw you outside one of those revered campuses. Once you have raised yourself to that level, you ought to be different and better be one! The world looks upto you, not without any reason. Once you join the majestic Indian Institute of Technology/Management, the bar is raised, so you further strive for excellence. And even if you are not the best on campus, life there takes you to a different level altogether. And then the common man cannot question - 'Why do they get paid so highly?'. Because in many cases, the common man will not have the intelligence to understand even that.
Even otherwise, if one bothers to read through some statistics of the enormous number of living beings in India who take these exams, and the amount of time & money that they spend in coaching themselves, you would realise that for most, this dream is larger than life. It's not mere education that happens at these campuses, your ability to live a good life gets shaped. I can confidently say so because I have been close to many such souls. For some, I thought it was madness, for others, it was brilliance! I have seen them withdraw from the rest of the world for more than 2 years sometimes, and the only thing that drives them there is their dream!

Though, many of them, with utter humility say that it's just one amongst others, I refuse to believe so... Professionally, they ought to stand apart by every measure and most of them, that I know, do.

Hence, it pains to see the ramifications of the government regulations in favour of the so-called lower castes. I don't know what to call it..but the country is certainly heading for a conscious suicide by doing so... If the gold is not pure and of good quality, polishing wouldn't ever help. Somebody who has never won a state level game, can't head for the Olympics, right?? If only I could do something more than protesting against it! I can only pray that those who enter those gates by virtue of caste and not of merit, may please realise that they are getting that seat by displacing many deserving candidates and hence they better work really hard towards delivering an equally sound future for the country.

I forgot to mention above that the Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore also stands in the same league of pride & prejudice and is internationally one of the best for science graduates who wish to pursue research.

Public Relations

As the name suggests, it is about "maintaining relationships with the publics" because "yeh public hai, sab jaanti hai!" and No one can really afford to let the public let their tongue loose. ;-)
I am a new entrant in this profession. I have been studying this subject since last 1 year and am about to complete the course. As I assume roles in a formal capacity in a PR agency, I thought I'll pen down few things that are on top of my mind.
Since the PR industry is still very nascent in India, there are lots of rumours, speculations, assessments, failures associated with it. It has often been defamed too and the most talked about thing in this business is the love-hate relationship that they have with journalists. I am, at this stage, not equipped enough to pass a judgement on the existing state of affairs. Nevertheless, I am confident enough to put down the way I feel PR should shape up as.

The story starts from one of the most debated questions - "Whether Media really shapes or represents public opinion? Whether it is always ethical and supports truth? Whether it is a benefactor of everyone who reads it?"
If these questions have a discrete and objective answer, only then many myths about the PR world can be dispelled.

The talking point is that PR involves mobilizing public opinion for a certain agenda, to create a buzz around objects/events/ brands/ organisations as advised by the client, sometimes to just tell 'My story' (the client's) and be heard in this overcrowded marketplace'. Media is merely a tool, but undoubtedly a very strong one and in many cases, the only one! How many of us can think of a morning without newspapers? Or an evening without television?
Exactly so, a certain person/organisation would like to reach you and tell their story through these media. To whom exactly do they want to say? How they would say it to you? What they would say? When they would say? Where they would say? - To address these questions, they have a corporate communications department who works in close co-ordination with a PR firm which specialises in this.
So, for all communication that goes wrong, the PR firm is normally held responsible as they are being paid only to do this right. The PR firms ought to maintain good relations with the media, with the client, with all stakeholders of the client (customers, employees, shareholders and others), and with peers in the industry. They must do this and the faster they get good at this, the easier their job becomes.
But what people fail to understand is, there is more to the job! They need to understand the client's business - in & out of it, know the client's personality, know exactly what's up on his mind all the time, know the industry that he operates in, know the place he's based out of, know the competitors as best as is achievable, know everyone else that matter to the client's life. Quite clearly, this is not easy to achieve and the lack of information and channelization of the same is where they stumble sometimes and are heavily criticised. And, the most important attribute of a human being - common sense! is a must-have skill for any PR professional.

Incomplete knowledge then prods the PR guys to in turn, pester the journalists with some prospective piece of news about their clients, which is often not of interest to them or something which is not newsworthy.
The disappointment in PR people furthur leads to disillusionment and they are prompted to cook up cock-and-bull stories, please the journalist in 'not-so-desired' ways, in order to sustain their businesses. They are hence defamed 'spin-doctors', and often bear the brunt of the client's or the journalist's bad moods.

In an ideal scenario, PR firms should be an important and authentic source of information/data/news for the journalists but I guess, we are yet to walk a few more miles before we get close to that utopian situation.

Everyone who comes to know my background, asks me in surprise as to why did I move from IT (a prosperous and a matured industry now in India) to PR (a nascent and less paying industry)! Obvious question, maybe!

Other than communications being my area of interest, I also felt the PR is the thing-to-be in the next decade! The number of players in every industry are increasing manifold, that is what they call as 'me-too' market. Advertising is extremely expensive and not everyone can afford being in the most seen places to make themselves visible. Secondly, not every advertisement leaves an impact on us, in fact very few do. Thirdly, there's an underlying assumption that since the company is talking about itself, they would hide their weaknesses/loopholes. Not that Advertisers would lose out completely, they too have come a long way in making or breaking opinion. Only that PR too is evolving and at a fast pace. But since invisible PR is best PR, the growth is also more felt than seen.

To put it more subtly, PR is basically third party endorsement of what someone is. When the media is found talking about something, in all our conscious minds, we believe it to be true and then coax the media if it is untrue, we never bother to verify the information. So, the PR guys ensure the visibility of truths about their clients in the media by letting them know it in various ways such as a press release, press conference etc.
Basically, PR makes or breaks opinion. A news appearing repeatedly for sometime in any of the media, gradually creeps into our subconscious minds and we tend to remember it. That's exactly what PR aims at achieving without throwing it at your face every now & then, and loading you with information when you don't want it.
We are 'ICONOCLASTS'. We are in the business of 'IMAGE/PERCEPTION MANAGEMENT'. We don't cause devastation, we only work towards the prosparity of all and sundry. The consumer (i.e. you and I) have now become intelligent enough not to fall for explicit marketing gimmicks. But what we still fall for what we believe. 'What we believe' is what PR intends to gradually influence.
I feel, PR enhances the whiter shades of life, it initiates a movement from 'Grey to White' or 'Black to White'. It should ideally present facts in a manner that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages at least to the people to whom the information matters. It is not about hiding truths or spinning stories. It is about telling a tale beautifully in light of facts and analyzes that exist. After all, there's nothing in this world which is impeccably flawless or is the ultimate truth. All depends on how we have fed our systems. So, there's no harm in accepting or at least listening to, if someone has a contrary opinion. PR never forces to change opinion, it only influences to... Accepting/rejecting the opinion is entirely the reader's/viewer's choice.

The larger role for PR professionals would be Communication consulting, an integral player in the spectrum of Mass Communications. We should and would consult people as to how to talk, write, express, emote for communicating what they want to. No one wants to be misunderstood or misconstrued! None of us what to mean things thatwe don't really mean. All of us wish what if we knew what's their on the other person's mind and act accordingly so that our slate is always clean. Doing this is what we specialise in! We are no Gods, we only work on the background facts (history/geography of a case) well enough to justify a truth that we want to say on our client's behalf. Just like lawyers play with logic and laws to determine the fate of wrong do-ers, we present to you truths in the colour that the person presented wants to be in. And believe me, this presentation is backed by a lot of knowledge and creativity. It takes both the left and the right brain to arrive at something which is favorable to somebody and not rude or offensive to anybody else. You might see a different picture of the person. No harm! We just say politely, "Think twice please!"